All shall know who and what I truly am
by SareBear96
Summary: Kenny McCormick has been keeping secrets her whole life. But what will she do when one of her secrets is revealed by Butters? And how is Cartman involved in her curse? Could this finally be her chance to make everyone believe her, once and for all? Bunny Kyman Stendy Dip One-sided Style Slight Creek Warning- In this Fanfic Kenny is a girl!
1. Prologue

My name is Kenny McCormick and I have a secret. Actually I have two secrets, but I'll get to that later. My first secret is that I'm actually a girl. Now you're probably wondering why I have a boy's name. It's pretty simple, my parents suck. They're both redneck drunks who had already decided they were having a boy before I was born. Then when I turned out to be a girl they were too lazy to pick another name. So for my first few years of life I was constantly mistaken as a boy and my parents were always too drunk or too high to correct them.

I don't mind though, I actually enjoy pretending to be a boy. I tried being a girl once, the first day of preschool. I had managed to pinch a small dress from my mum's closet and I pulled my hair into two pigtails. I walked into the room full of kids nervously twirling my hair around my finger. I had never really been around other kids my age. We lived on the side of town where not many kids lived. A nice looking girl with black hair walked up to me.

"Hey I'm Wendy. What's your name?" she asked eagerly. I anxiously smiled back.

"I'm Ke-Um Jenny" I choked out not wanting to be teased about my name.

"You wanna hang out with me and my friends, Jenny?" she asked encouragingly. I nodded and followed her to a group of girls. I spent the rest of the day with the girls. But no matter how hard I had tried I couldn't enjoy myself. Nothing they did interested me. All they talked about was dolls and tea parties. I found myself watching what the boys were doing instead. They were playing with toy trucks and knocking over buildings made out of blocks. It reminded me of the games I play at home with my big brother. We're always mucking around breaking stuff. So I excused myself from the group and went over to the boys.

"Hey" I mumbled looking at the ground shyly. A fat boy frowned at me and crossed his arms.

"What do_ you_ want?" he asked, his tone judging. Some of the other boys looked up from what they were doing to watch the confrontation.

"I-I just wanted to see if I could play with you guys" I stuttered. Why was he glaring at me? Had I done something wrong?

"No! You're a girl and only _boys_ can hang with us! Go back to your dollies!" the fat boy hissed. The other boys were silent, just staring at me like I was some foreign species. I turned around and headed to the bathroom tears flowing down my cheeks. I don't know why I was so upset, maybe because I felt so alone. I didn't fit in with the girls and the boys wouldn't accept me. Was I doomed to a life of loneliness?

Noone came after me and eventually, after the tears had stopped, I climbed out the bathroom window not wanting to return to that awful classroom. On my way home I thought about what that fat boy had said. _Only boys can hang out with us_. I stopped, an idea forming. Everyone had always mistaken me for a boy before, it wouldn't be that hard to fool them. I wouldn't even have to change my name! When I got home I was excited by the idea of hanging out with the boys the next day. I messily cut my hair into a spiky blonde mess and raided my brothers closet. I found an orange parka that obscured most of my face and matching pants. I added a scarf to the outfit and looked at my reflection satisfied. Noone would think I was a girl now!

And that's how my persona of Kenny McCormick the boy began. The boys had completely bought my disguise and my voice was so muffled in the parka that they never seemed to notice that my voice was much higher than theirs. As the years went on I continued to wear a signature orange parka, buying new ones as I grew. I continued cutting my hair short so that even when my hood would come down noone suspected a thing. Life was great, I enjoyed spending time with the boys much more than the girls. Everything in my life was perfect.

Well except one thing. And this brings me to my second secret. I can't die. Well actually that's not exactly true. I sure as hell _can_ die, in fact I die all the time. But I just can't _stay_ dead. I don't know if it's a curse or just some sick joke of god's, all I know is it sucks. Now I know what you're probably thinking, "But not being able to die would be cool" Let me tell you, it's not. It fucking hurts! That's not even the worst part. I'd probably be able to endure that pain if it wasn't for the fact that nobody remembers. Even if I get decapitated right in front of their eyes! I just wake up in my bed the next day, wearing my same old clothes. Then when they see me they're just like, "Oh hey Kenny" like nothing even happened!

I realised I had this curse when I was pretty young. It's like death follows me around or something, just waiting for a dangerous situation to kill me in. The first death that I can remember was my fourth birthday. My parents bought me a kiddy pool, and by that I mean they stole an old one from one of our neighbours. But I didn't mind, being in a family as poor as mine I would take what I could get. I played in the thing all day, but it wasn't until my parents went inside that it happened. It was like a force was pulling me under, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. My lungs were on fire, the pain was unbearable. Finally I gasped in a breath of water and the pain went away. That time I went to purgatory, a sort of limbo between heaven and hell, I guess back then they didn't really want to send a four year old to hell. But that's where I usually go now. Sure I've been to heaven a few times, but I always come back. No matter what.

I've realised that the longer it takes for me to die, the longer it takes for me to come back. There was this one time in fourth grade when I had a terminal illness. Supposedly I'd had it for months but I hadn't known. I had noticed the lack of deaths those months, foolishly thinking perhaps my curse had ended. Little did I know, death was just patiently waiting for the finale. Eventually Death's wait was over and I lay in a hospital bed knowing the end was neigh. This was one of the only deaths that I saw my friends and family mourn. Sure I'd had funerals before, but this time people were actually crying while I was still here. Even that fat asshole Cartman cried for me. That time I was in hell for months. I spend most of my time in hell hanging out with Damien, the son of Satan. He's become my death companion. Every time I go to hell he'll just chuckle and mutter "Back so soon? I'll get you a room".

When I did eventually come back, all Kyle said was, "Hey Kenny, where you been?"

I repressed a sigh as I replied, "Oh just around"

So there you have it, now you know all about me. Now I can tell you my story. The story of how both my secrets became known.


	2. Chapter One

For the most part keeping my gender a secret was pretty easy. Noone ever asked me why I always wore my hood. Besides whenever someone got too close to figuring me out I usually died soon after so they never remembered. I guess death was pretty convenient that way.

The first problem came when I hit puberty. As my chest became less flat I had a harder time hiding them. Sure for a while the thickness of my parka worked pretty well at concealing the small lumps but to my dismay they kept growing bigger and bigger. Pretty soon I'd overtake Bebe for biggest boobs in class.

While most girls would be pleased at having huge boobs I only thought of them as a burden. If anyone were to notice I'd have a hard time coming up with a lie. I guess if worst came to worst I'd kill myself as a save but I really hated suicide. It always made me feel guilty afterwards. So instead, I just wear sports bras most of the time. Thank god for sports bras making boobs look smaller. With the extra padding that my parka supplied I was pretty much in the clear.

At least I thought I was. Boy was I wrong. It started out like a normal day. I met up with my three best friends, Stan Marsh, Kyle Brofloski and Eric Cartman, at the bus stop. Stan has grown a lot since fourth grade, he's captain of the football team now, not a surprise since Wendy is head cheerleader, and he's gained a lot of muscle. But even after all these years he still wears his poofball hat. Kyle hasn't grown very much at all and is the shortest of the group. He still wears his green ushanka although it's not big enough to hide all his hair anymore. Little red ringlets fall out framing his face. Cartman has made the biggest change though, he's still the biggest out of all of us but for a different reason now. His mum made him join the wrestling team a few years ago and he managed to turn all his fat into rock hard muscle. He kept his broad body shape though and now I don't think anyone would wanna mess with him. Not like anyone did before though, ever since the Scott Tenorman incident.

"Hey Kenny" Stan greeted me, I gave him a slight wave more concerned with the display in front of me. Cartman and Kyle were fighting as usual.  
"That is bullshit, fatass!" Kyle growled back, he never dropped the old nickname even after Cartman got buff.

"It's true, Jew!" Cartman yelled at Kyle furiously.

"What are they fighting about now?" I mumbled through my hood.  
"Cartman says Jews aren't allowed in catholic churches or else they'll burst into flames." Stan sighed, you'd think by now he would be used to their bickering. I know I was. Between you and me, I think the reason they fight so much is because they like eachother. Or at least Cartman likes Kyle. I mean dude it's kind of obvious. It's the whole "little boy picks on the girl he likes" thing, Cartman can't go one minute without Kyle's attention. He literally has to insult him just to get him to notice him. Plus there are so many other signs over the years that he's gay. For one he put Butters dick in his mouth in fourth grade and he dressed up like Brittany Spears once and made out with a Justin Timberlake cutout. Plus there's the fact that he's never had a girlfriend. Then there's Kyle. He reminds me so much of a girl, which is scary since _I'm_ supposed to be the one pretending to be a guy. Just his feminine body shape, he's so skinny and frail. Plus he's such a softy. But even if he is gay I'm pretty sure he has a crush on Stan. I kind of feel bad for Cartman, sometimes I feel like telling him I know he's gay. But I know he'd deny it and then do terrible things to me as revenge.

Nope I'm staying out of it. It's not my place to mention anything. Besides, I'm the silent one anyway.

The bus pulled up and their argument continued even as they sat down. Stan and Kyle sat in the seat in front of Cartman and I. Kyle knelt on the seat to yell backwards to Cartman. I swear they're like a married couple. I just chuckled and looked out the window as we drove by. I wonder what it'd be like to have someone like me. I know it's impossible since I dress like a boy. The only people who ever like me are girls. I may be a cross-dresser but I don't swing that way. I had a 'girlfriend' once. I played along with it for a while. Even acting outraged when she made us get purity rings. Truthfully I was relieved. People seem to think I'm a man-whore, I guess that's my fault. When I first started pretending to be a boy I always said dirty stuff about girls so people wouldn't doubt I was a boy. I guess it was a bit much but you gotta play with the cards your dealt. So I just rolled with it.

Eventually I dumped Tammy feeling bad for stringing her along, but I told everyone I'd gotten a BJ. Coincidentally I died not long after and people assumed it was syphilis.

But having a real _boyfriend_ that's something I've never even been close to. Sure I've had crushes, but I could never act on them because of my disguise. I suppose one of these days I'll have to drop the act and tell everyone I'm a girl, but I enjoy being with my friends too much to have them reject me.

The bus stops and I felt relief rush through me. There's always a part of me waiting to die in this bus. I've been killed at least twice in this very bus. Both times completely random, like a monster pulling me out of the roof. I milled out of the bus along with the other students. That's when I noticed it. A lot of people were carrying other bags as well as their school bags.

"Hey, why's everyone got bags?" I asked Cartman pointing towards the students.  
"Today's swimming carnival, Kenny. Don't you remember?" Cartman said his accent coated voice accussing, "or are you too poor to afford swim trunks?"

I didn't even bother getting angry at his comment. Instead all the colour drained out of my face. Shit, swimming carnival. I must have been dead when they announced it at school last week. For those of you who don't know, swimming carnival is a day where everyone heads to the local pool and competes in swimming events. You're not allowed to arrive at school in your swim clothes so people bring backs to carry their change of clothes and towels. God dammit I knew I should have stayed at home today! I've had a sinking feeling all morning. Usually I have a foreboding feeling before a death, so I'd just assumed that was it.

Swimming didn't used to be a problem. In fact I used to swim shirtless wearing trunks with my friends back when I was fat chested. They hadn't noticed the difference. But they'd definitely suspect something If I jumped into the pool flashing my D cups. Oh man, I gotta get out of here!  
"Where do you think you're going Mister?" the voice of school councillor Mr Mackay stopped me in my track. Dammit.  
"Um…I have explosive diarrhea" I mumbled my usual excuse.

Mr Mackay frowned, "That's not going to work this time, mkay, now you march back into school young man"  
I sighed, well I'm screwed. I can't use the excuse that I left my swim clothes because they'll just make me wear a spare from the school. I'm just going to have to wait for an opportunity to either kill myself or escape. I really hope it's the latter.


	3. Chapter Two

The time to leave the school came and everyone piled onto the buses. I followed in line glancing nervously from side to side, waiting for an opening where I could make a run for it. Sadly Mr Mackay was watching me like a hawk. I knew he would have noticed that I had skipped every swimming carnival for the last few years, no wonder he was so suspicious of me. There was no way I was going to escape with him around.

I sighed in defeat, trudging up the steps of the bus to take my seat.

"Dude what's wrong with you?" Kyle asked as he took the seat next to me.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it" I mumbled back leaning my elbow on the armrest and resting my chin in my hand. Kyle looked at me and I thought he would accept my excuse like he usually does but he surprised me by continuing.  
"You know you _can_ talk to me. I mean we've been friends for years and I always feel like you're holding back. You seem to get really down sometimes but you never open up. I'm just saying…I'm here" he told me.

Kyle always had a gift for pulling heart-warming speeches out of nowhere. He surprised me when he told me he'd noticed my constant down moods. Dying all the time was kind of stressful, sometimes it all got too much and I'd get really depressed. I guess I never really thought that anyone would notice, I always thought of myself as a background character. Never really saying anything important or being the centre of attention. I felt kind of happy to know that at least someone cared.

"Thanks Kyle, trust me I know. You're a great friend. There's just some stuff that…well that you just wouldn't understand" I murmured my reply guiltily.

It was true, he would never understand the burdens I carried. Maybe he'd come to terms with my gender, but my curse was a different story. Kyle was the type of person that only believed in the logical. I remember the time he'd spent an entire week trying to prove that Cartman wasn't a psychic. He even went as far as to accuse the professional psychics of being fakes. Kyle would never accept my curse unless he saw it with his own eyes, and of course _that_ was impossible without his memory being erased.

Kyle was silent as he gazed at me, as if he wanted to say more. Then he sighed and turned away. I felt the usual guilt stab at me when I'm reminded of how my lies affect my friends. It can't be helped, I reminded myself trying to ease the guilt.

The bus stopped and everyone in the bus perked up. Excitement seemed to flow through the bus as the students eagerly gazed out the window to the town pool. It's not a very big place, just one big pool and a kiddy pool off to the side. But it was the best place to swim left in the town since the waterpark shut down after the Pee accident. I shuddered remembering that death, drowning was never a pleasant way to go and the fact that it was in pee had made it all the more terrible.

"Alright children now please exit the bus in an orderly fashion, mkay?" Mr Mackay instructs and suddenly everyone's rushing out of the bus, almost trampling people in their path. I'd died by being trampled before, I wonder if I timed it right I'd be able to do it again. But before I'd even formed a plan the bus was already empty. Dammit. I sighed and followed.

Once outside I began to wonder if the bus driver would notice a kid lying under the back wheel. Surely it'd be too late before anyone noticed and by then I'd be dead and free from this nightmare. I turned around but once again my way was blocked by Mr Mackay. He frowned at me and before he could utter a word I grumbled and returned to the group.

After giving me one last glare of warning Mr Mackay began to speak, "Mkay, well I'm sure you all are excited to begin but before that I am required to remind you all of the rules…" A collected groan passed over the crowd. Every year Mr Mackay gave the same speech. I'm sure most of the kids could recite it by heart. He repeated the same simple rules; don't run near the edge of the pool, no bullying, play sensibly in the pool etc. Usually I would have groaned too but I was too busy planning an escape. I couldn't leave the crowd because there were teachers on all sides surrounding the group. Even Mr Garrison, the most inattentive teacher there, would be hard to get by. Especially in my bright orange parka, I was practically the first thing people noticed in a crowd. God why don't I wear darker colours?

No, escaping now was impossible, I'd have to wait. Finally Mr Mackay's speech was over and everyone practically ran to the changing rooms. Swimming Carnival was always a highly anticipated event of the year. Once all the events were finished all the students were free to swim as they pleased. From what I can remember, most of the boys would start some huge game of marco polo and the girls would take the opportunity to tan. Sometimes I was tempted to go over and join them. My skin was much too pale from constantly hiding my skin. A tan would be pretty nice. But of course that's impossible.

I paused at the changing room entrances, there was a girls' door to the left, boys to the right. I guess it's just habit for me to hesitate. I always wonder which door I should really enter. It's the same with bathrooms, whenever I'm alone I try to go to the girl's bathroom. For one they're much cleaner and I also feel like less of an intruder. But right now I wasn't alone, so I followed the boys to the left. When I entered there were many boys already stripped. I tried to keep my eyes forward. When I was younger I hadn't thought much about seeing the boys naked. But now that I everyone had grown…well hotter, I felt like it was sort of cheating to check them out. Especially when they didn't realise they were being ogled.

I made my way to the very back trying to conceal myself in one of the corners. Maybe I could hide here until everyone left. Then I could make a plan. Or if worst came to worst I could simply hide in here all day. It wasn't very long before the changing room went quiet. That's one of the great things about boys, they're quick changers. I peeked out from my corner making sure the coast was clear. Not seeing anyone I sighed in relief.

Ok Kenny, _think_. I've got to get myself out of this mess. I began to check the changing room over for windows that I could climb out of but with no such luck. The only exit was the entrance and just outside was the pool, I'd be spotted straight away. Shit.

I looked around the room helplessly, looking for some sort of inspiration. The room was small and consisted mainly of lockers and a couple of benches. The school didn't pay the money to hire lockers so most students brought their stuff out with them to leave with the teachers. On one of the benches, however, a lone bag sat. Someone must have left it here. Curiously I walked over to the bag. Maybe there was a change of clothes in there that I could use as a disguise. Afterall, Mr Mackay would be on the lookout for an orange parka. Then I could easily walk out!

Hastily I rifled through the bag, the clothes seemed familiar but I was too rushed to care. I began pulling off my clothes. I sighed in relief at the removal of my parka. Boy it was hot in there! Part of me wished I could swim with the others but I knew that would be too much of a risk.

All my sports bras had been in the wash today so I had been forced to wear my only real bra. My mum had insisted on buying me it. Just in case, she'd said. My parents were mostly ok with my pretending to be a boy. I guess they were pretty good parents when it came to understanding our feelings. They were actually pretty caring when they wanted to be.

So instead, to cover my boobs I'd worn a baggy white shirt under my parka today. T had worked out alright and noone seemed to notice anything. I pulled that shirt off and grabbed a shirt from the bag. Suddenly I froze hearing singing coming towards the door behind me.

"Loo loo loo I got some apples, loo loo loo you got some too" Butters entered the doorway and I hugged the shirt in front of me, trying to hide my chest.  
"Oh hey Kenny" he said cheerfully, "what are you doing in here?"  
"Wh-what are _you_ doing in here" I stuttered back. I was too startled to think of another reply.  
"Me? I just forgot my-" he began and then paused looking behind me, "…bag. What are you doing with my bag?"

"Ugh-" I began nervously but he cut me off.  
"And that's my shirt" he accused pointing to the one I hugged to my chest.  
"Well…" I started half-heartedly but trailed off. I couldn't think of an excuse, my brain was in freeze. This is the closest I've ever been to being discovered. This is bad, very bad.

"I-I'm sorry Kenny but I'm gonna have to tell on you for trying to steal my stuff" Butters stutters rubbing his knuckles together in that nervous habit of his.

He turned around and panic snapped me out of my trance. I quickly reached out for Butter's wrist dropping the shirt in the process. I pulled him back and pushed him against the wall trapping him there. He looked at me startled. I was only slightly taller than him but it was enough of an advantage to hold him there. I clutched his wrists above his head and pressed my body against his to keep him in place. It was purely an afterthought that I realised my chest was completely pressed against him and my bra was the only thing covering them.

Shit. There's no way I can explain my way out of this now.

Butters seemed frozen in surprise. His crystal blue eyes stared at me frightened slightly and I could feel his pulse racing against my chest. He seemed to only just notice the pressure on his chest. His eyes drifted down to my breasts and widened in complete and utter disbelief. His face burned completely red and choked out two words. "Oh hamburgers"


	4. Chapter Three

**I'd just like to thank everyone who's read and who's reviewed my story :D  
I can't believe it's gotten so many reviews in just 3 days! :o  
I especially wanna mention the person who's reviewing as the characters. Their conversation are hilarious and make me giggle every time I read them xD  
P.s to the person who asked what a Shamy was, it's the pairing name for my favourite big bang theory couple SheldonxAmy. I was really obsessed with them when I made this account and they were the first fanfic I ever wrote :3  
Ok on to the story :)  
_**

He didn't say anything else and we kind of just stayed there like that, looking at eachother awkwardly. I had an inward struggle trying to decide whether to let him go. I was very aware of how close we were and of how little covered my chest. This was the closest I'd ever been to a boy and it was also the first time a boy, that wasn't my brother, had seen me this exposed. But part of me was still afraid that if I let go he'd immediately run off and uncover my secret.

So I just stayed there, staring at him warily. He stared back at me with those wide blue eyes, like a deer in the headlights. Suddenly Butters broke the silence and I almost jumped at the sudden noise in the previous dead silence.  
"Uh K-Kenny, w-what's going on?" he stuttered out and I loosened my grip on him letting his arms fall to his sides, but I kept a tight hold of his wrists. I didn't know what to say, there was no way I could talk my way out of this one.  
"Butters …it's kind of a long story" I muttered pathetically.  
"W-well I'm pretty sure it's worth hearing" he mumbled keeping his eyes to the ground trying not to look up at me, _or_ my chest. That last thought made me blush furiously as I realised I was still exposed. I let go of his wrists and anxiously pulled on my loose, white T-shirt.

Clearing my throat awkwardly I mumbled softly, "You can look now"

He hesitantly glanced up and then, seeing that I was covered, he seemed to relax slightly. My cheeks continued to burn, Butters was always so innocent, why did _I _have to be the one to challenge that? It was probably the closest he'd ever been to a pair of boobs. Oh god I just know my face is completely red! _Focus!_ I chastised myself. There's a bigger issue at the moment.

"You better sit down then. This is gonna take a while." I told him rubbing the back of my neck nervously. So he did and I told him everything. Well not _everything_, my curse is something I'll just have to deal with alone. I don't want to drag anyone else into that. But I told him everything else. I recounted my first day of preschool and my resolution to pretend to be a boy. I explained how I'd convinced my parents to go along with it as well as my two siblings. I even explained that I'd been trying to disguise myself in his clothes so I could escape swimming carnival.

By the time I had finished he just sat there silent, absorbing it all.  
"So…all those times when I got naked in front of you, you were really a girl the whole time" he choked out finally. I gave an exasperated sigh. Men!  
"Is that _all_ you can really think about? I just told you one of the biggest secrets in my life" I insisted.  
"Well what do you want me to say Kenny?" he muttered in that high innocent voice of his.

"Well I expected something like "Oh my god, you're a girl! I'm telling everyone and noone will hang out with you anymore"" I admitted. He frowned slightly.

"I wouldn't tell anyone if you didn't want me too, besides why wouldn't people hang out with you? You're still my friend even if you're a girl" he replied and I smiled warmly at him. Butters was so kind hearted. He hadn't changed much since fourth grade. He was still as kind, innocent and easily manipulated as ever. In a way I found his pure innocent nature quite sweet. The way he'd look at you wide eyed with his head tilted to the side like a little puppy. As if he couldn't understand why there would ever be darkness in the world.

In that moment I couldn't help myself, I sat beside butters and gripped him in a hug. I didn't realise I was crying until I felt the dampness on my cheek. I buried my face into his neck drying my tears on his shirt. All these different emotions ran through me. I couldn't understand why I was crying. I guess I was just overwhelmed by the whole thing. I'd been dreading this day for so long but now it felt as if there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  
"You're such a good friend Butters. I just know if Cartman or anyone else had found out they'd tell everyone for sure. Even if it was Stan or Kyle they'd definitely tell at least eachother" I mumbled. Butters didn't say anything but he squeezed me back tightly in a reassuring embrace and let me cry out. Finally my tears stopped and I released my hold on Butters.

Wiping my eyes, I chuckled, "Sorry for kind of losing it there. Ugh you probably think I'm some awful over-emotional girl now huh?"

He smiled warmly at me, "No way Kenny, you're one of the strongest people I know. It's actually nice to see that sometimes you let your emotions get the best of you. You always seem so indestructible all the time, like nothing can hurt you. Seeing you vulnerable makes you seem more…human I guess"

That last sentence hit me hard. Ever since I'd discovered my curse all I ever dreamed of was being human. To have Butters say that I seemed vulnerable, the complete opposite of my immortal nature…well it meant more to me than he could have realised. Part of me wanted to tell him that. To open up even more and explain my other secret, let another weight of my shoulders.  
But instead all I said was "Thanks Butters"

He smiled back and then we were silent. But this time it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable as if we had nothing left to say.

I looked to my side at the wall. There was a large body length mirror plastered there. I saw my reflection in it. My eyes were still red from the crying and my hair was a scruffy mess as always from being under my hood. I combed my fingers through it slightly and it resulted by flicking to the sides in a slightly feminine way. My white T shirt hung loosely on my but you could still see my womanly curves. In that moment I looked more like a girl than I ever had. Strangely that didn't bother me, for once I felt perfectly happy looking like a girl. In fact I was comfortable like this, finally being myself out in the open for once.

"I can't believe I didn't notice you were a girl before" Butters mumbled and I noticed that he too had come to look at my reflection. I shrugged.  
"I always hid my chest under my parka, nobody ever noticed" I explained.  
"Not just _that,_" He insisted, "If you wore your hood less often I'm sure someone would have noticed"

"I don't think so-" I began but he cut me off.  
"I mean you look good as a girl. You have those rosy cheeks and full lips that all pretty girls have. If I looked like you I wouldn't hide my face away in a hood"

I blushed at his compliment. Did he really think so? I'd never had much confidence in my looks. Boys never really talked about that kind of stuff so I never had anyone say I looked nice before. I cleared my throat trying not to look as affected by his compliment as I was. Just cause he knows I'm a girl now doesn't mean I'm going to become soft.  
"You should probably go. People are gonna wonder where you are. Besides don't you wanna swim?" I mumbled. He blinked in surprised looking around as if he'd forgotten where we even were.  
"Oh yeah" he stood and shoving his shirt back in his bag and grabbing it.

He started towards the door and then paused, looking back.  
"You coming?" he asked uncertainly.  
I nodded and tugged my parka on, tightening the strings, "I probably should. If Mr Mackay doesn't find me he'll come looking for me in here anyway. Hopefully by now all the events are over and I can avoid the pool entirely"

So with a deep breath I left the changing rooms with Butters. The trouble was all over. Butters had accepted my secret and promised to keep it. But if that's true, then why do I still have that uncertain feeling in my stomach…


	5. Chapter Four

**Hey guys, once again thanks for all the reviews :D  
To answer one of your questions, I don't think I'll update **_**everyday**_** but I have been because I've had spare time. Pretty soon I'll have work almost everyday but I'll try to keep updating regularly :)  
Anway, enjoy :3  
**_

The first thing I noticed when I got outside was how bright it was compared to the changing rooms. I squinted as the glare from the pool hit my eyes. I looked towards Butters who walked ahead of me. The sun shone through his bright hair turning it golden. Compared to the low light I'd previously seen him in, I realised with surprise that Butters wasn't as scrawny as he seemed. Even looking from the back I noticed he was actually quite fit. Not as fit as Stan or Cartman, of course, but he definitely wasn't as weak and skinny as I remembered. I guess I didn't see him shirtless very often these few years, since I avoided Swimming Carnival like the plague. I couldn't help blushing as I remembered how his bare chest felt against mine as I pressed him to the wall. Why couldn't he be one of those guys who wore swim shirts?

We made it to the Teacher's area and Butters left his bag with the others. The Teacher's area was a group of tables usually used as a lunch area. Teacher's filled the seats chatting away barely even glancing at the students they were supposed to be supervising. I caught eyes with Mr Mackay and he nodded approvingly at my presence, assuming he's won the small battle between us.

I separated from Butters as he headed to water and took a seat on one of the tanning chairs surrounding the pool. I took the time to observe everyone else. It looks like I was right, the events are over. Bebe and a couple of other girls were at the shallow end of the pool sitting on tanning beds in their bikinis, soaking up the rays while wearing their designer sunglasses. A few other girls were in the pool near them giggling and splashing one another.

I noticed that Wendy was not with them so I scanned the pool curiously. My eyes found her wearing a bikini the colour of her usual purple outfit. She was sitting on Stan's shoulders and wrestling with Nicole, who in turn rested on Token's shoulders. I chuckled, of course those four would be off doing couple stuff together. They were the two most known couple in the school, both having been together since primary school.

On the other side of the pool in the deep end were, of course, the rest of the boys. They were the closest to my tanning bed and I could hear them slightly. They each sat on the edge as Cartman was organizing everyone as usual. Cartman is one of those people who you either listen to now or eat your parents later. It's an underlying fear as well as respect since he carries around so much confidence. The only person who ever stands up to Cartman is Kyle. Speaking of the red head, he sat beside Cartman, his unruly locks, tamed to loose curls by the water, dripped as he listed to Cartman with a frown on his face. Soon I realised he wasn't listening at all, in fact, his eyes were soaking in the bigger boys muscled form. No wonder he was frowning, he obviously hates himself right now for checking Cartman out. I smirked knowing I was probably the only one who knew what was really going on with those two. I guess being the quiet one came in handy when it comes to noticing the little things. I'll be the first one to celebrate when their little hating eachother facade finally cracks and they realise what _I_ already know.

Someone joined the group and my attention drifted to them. It took me a moment to realize it was Craig, without his usual blue hat he was hard to recognise. He walked up to Tweek and handed him a takeaway mug of what I assumed was coffee. Tweek gratefully brought the cup to his lips as if it was the best thing on earth. I smiled warmly at the two, they were almost inseparable these days. Craig seemed like the only one who truly accepted Tweek and his coffee addiction. In fact Craig usually knew when Tweek was craving before even Tweek did. I had the same feeling about those two that I did with Kyle and Cartman. I chuckled, either I'm really perceptive or I just want all my classmates to be gay. Either way I stand by my predictions.

"Hey Kenneh!" Cartman's voice intruded my thoughts and I looked his way, "You're on my team, hurry up and get in the pool!"

I shook my head at his instructions, "No way, dude! I'm staying right here"  
"Don't be a pussy, it'll be good for you to have a bath for once!" he snapped back and I scowled. Even though I knew his poor kid jokes were coming, I still got angry every time. My family may be poor but we're not as poor as that asshole makes it sound.

"Fuck you, Cartman!" I hissed back. Cartman stood up and walked towards me.  
"Come on. What can't you swim or something?" he accused.  
"Leave him alone fatass!" Kyle shouted in my defence.

"Shut up, Kahl!" Cartman snapped back. My bad feeling was getting worse. Nervously I got off the chair holding my hands out in defence.

"Look Cartman, I'm serious. I'm not swimming today" I said slowly and deliberately, trying to reach the sensible side of him. Cartman smiled in that wicked way of his and I knew there was no reaching anything but the usual asshole Cartman.  
"Why not Kenneh? It's got to be pretty hot in that parka. I'm sure you could use a dip" he said taking a step towards me. Suddenly someone stepped in his way.  
"L-leave Kenny alone" Butters stuttered.  
"Get outta the way Butters" Cartman said casually as if Butters was barely an obstacle.  
"No" Butters said firmly, surprising everyone. Cartman frowned.  
"Don't be stupid Butters" Cartman warned but Butters stood his ground. Cartman glared at Butters for a moment and then scowled.  
"Fine, be a pussy" he hissed at me and turned away joining the rest of the boys. I sighed in relief and Butters turned to me. He was almost shaking.  
"That was the scariest thing I've ever done" he admitted. I smiled at him. Standing up to Cartman was probably his biggest fear, especially considering how often Cartman bullies him.  
"Thanks for standing up for me" I mumbled looking down embarrassed. Butters blushed and rubbed his knuckles together.  
"W-well I had to, if you fell in everyone would find out you were…you know" he replied in a whisper.

I smiled warmly at him. Butters was such a selfless person.

"Wanna sit with me for a while?" I suggested, knowing if Butters returned Cartman would make his life hell.  
"Sure" Butters agreed and sat on the end of the chair. I took the top end and crossed my legs so we'd both fit.

We then spent the rest of the day talking. Not even about anything in particular, we just talked about anything and everything. I told him some of the stories about the close calls with my secret and he told me some of the strangest things his parents had grounded him for. We laughed a lot and I honestly couldn't remember a time when I'd felt this carefree. It felt so great not having to hide in the background. I could talk as much as I wanted without worrying if anyone noticed my voice was high or worrying if anyone could see the bulges in my parka. For once I was completely myself with someone. There was a light fluttering feeling in my chest that I'd never experienced before. It felt wonderful and nerve-wracking at the same time.  
"It's getting late, we're gonna have to go back to school soon," Butters reminded me and I was surprised at how fast the time had gone.

"Do you want something from the Canteen before we go? My parents gave me some money for lunch but I think I have enough to get you something as well" he offered.

"You don't have to do that" I assured him.

"It's okay, you've got to be pretty hungry by now anyway" he insisted getting up.

He was right, I was starving. Hesitantly I accepted and he headed over to the canteen. I sighed closing my eyes peacefully and lying into the tanning bed. Today had been great, I don't know why I'd been so afraid. Suddenly I felt a coldness come over me as the sun became blocked by a shadow.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Pussy, where's your _boyfriend!"_ Cartman's voice shocked me into opening my eyes.

"Don't be an asshole Cartman. Just let it go" I grumbled. He frowned.  
"I _can't_ let it go. Butters made a fool out of me. What if other people start thinking they can stand up to me? It'll be mutiny" he hissed.  
"You're not a pirate anymore, dumbass" I snapped back.  
"You're right, but I still think _you_ need to walk the plank" he growled back and suddenly he grabbed me, flinging me over his shoulder easily. God dammit he's strong. I pounded my fists against his back and kicked my legs but he didn't even waver. As we reached the edge of the pool he paused and I tried one last time to reason with him.  
"Please Cartman don't do this" I pleaded.  
"Sorry Kenneh, have a nice swim" he chuckled and with one giant throw I splashed through the water's surface almost half way across the pool. I felt myself sinking and my parka sticking to me. If I were to surface there'd be no denying the lumps on my chest. Instead I let myself sink, resting on the floor of the pool. This is it, I guess. Plan B. Death.  
I've drowned so many times before. I know the basics. The pain is only there while you struggle. The moment you give in and take a breath it's over. Usually I'd end it quickly and take a breath as soon as I knew there was no use. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to take a breath. What was holding me back? My lungs were beginning to burn and my body screamed for me to surface, but I sat where I was solid as a rock. _Come on, just do it, breathe! Then this entire day will be wiped from their memories and it'll be as if it never happened._ My heart ached at that thought and I finally understood why I was hesitating. Butters.

If I were to die now, our entire day together would vanish from his mind. He would no longer know my secret and I would no longer have someone to confide in. He wouldn't remember all the stories I'd told him, the stories I'd told noone else but him. I'd once again be alone.

_But isn't that what you want?_ A voice screamed in my head. If I die then my secret will become a secret again. I'll no longer have to worry about Butters telling anyone. But still my body fights the urge to breathe.

It's unlikely anyone's going to come for me. Cartman has probably already walked away, satisfied with his revenge. The Teachers are most likely still absorbed in their conversations, not even watching the pool. No, it'll be up to me to make this decision. Live or die? Those are the two options before me. I can feel my head becoming foggy and I know soon I'll be swallowed up in blackness as I pass out and the decision becomes made for me. Sorry Butters, I think sadly as I finally give in and take a breath. The pain stops and calm washes over me as the familiar darkness welcomes me in it's protecting arms.


	6. Chapter Five

**Thanks for the reviews guys :D  
Just letting you know that this chapter starts of in Cartman's POV since Kenny's a bit…dead right now xD**

I knew after a few minutes that he wouldn't be coming back up. It was probably a good time to flee the scene. I turned quickly and started rushing forward only to bump right into Butters instead. He dropped the food he'd been carrying and he frowned.  
"Gosh Eric, well that wasn't very nice" he complained looking at the food, "Now I'll have to tell Kenny there's no food"  
He looked to his side and noticed the empty seat.  
"Hey where'd sh- ugh he go" he choked mid-sentence, but I was too preoccupied with escape to care.

"He must have left. Well I'd better be going" the words stumbled over eachother as they rushed out of my mouth. I went to take a step but Butters stepped in my way for the second time today.

"Where's Kenny?" he insisted.

"How the hell should I know?" I mumbled and then before I could stop myself. My eyes drifted back to the orange shape at the bottom of the pool. Butters followed my glance and his eyes widened in panic.

"Oh my gosh, Kenny!" he cried pushing past me and jumping into the pool. It took him a few moments but eventually he was swimming back to the edge carrying Kenny's lifeless form with him.  
"Grab a towel!" he ordered and I opened my mouth to object but his serious glare startled me into submission. I snatched the first towel I could find and handed it to butter's as he pulled himself over the edge, dragging Kenny with him. I expected him to wrap the towel around himself but he surprised me by wrapping it around Kenny like a blanket. I tried not to sigh, a lot of good that towel's gonna do, I could already tell that Kenny was dead.

"Help! Someone please!" Butters screamed and suddenly we got everyone's attention. A huge crowd formed around us all of them just staring at the scene in front of them. Butter's knelt beside Kenny's body, which was wrapped tightly in a towel, Kenny's eyes were closed and his lips were blue. A group of teacher's pushed their way through the crowd. A few of the teacher's gasped and the school nurse immediately went into action. She knelt next to Butters and pressed her fingers against Kenny's neck. When she felt what I assumed was nothing, she began doing CPR. After realising her attempts were futile, she released Kenny's body and looked solemn. There were a few hushed whisperes through the crowd and I heard Stan and Kyle shout "No!" in unison from somewhere in the crowd. Butters began to cry clinging to Kenny's body.

"This is all your fault Eric! You pushed Kenny in, didn't you?" Butters accused and I felt all eyes turn to me. Before I could respond Stan and Kyle pushed their way through the crowd to confront me.

"He killed Kenny!" Stan shouted pointing at me in outrage.

"You bastard!" Kyle followed suit.  
"Ay!" I shouted back but Mr Mackay stepped in.  
"Is this true Eric?" he frowned, his arms crossed.

"It's not my fault Kenny couldn't swim" I mumbled pathetically.

"Now Eric killing your classmates is bad, mkay?" Mr Mackay insisted.  
"I'm afraid this was your last straw Eric," the principle stepped in, "Now that you're older you're going worse than Juvy. I'm afraid you're going to be under arrest for man slaughter"

"What?!" I shouted outraged.

God dammit Kenny! That son of a bitch died on purpose! This is Cartmanland all over again! No, I will not let that son of a bitch screw me over again!  
Infuriated I ran towards Kenny's body and pushed Butters out of the way. I grabbed the the collar of his shirt and began shaking him.

"Wake up you son of a bitch!" I slapped him furiously. It felt just like the time in fourth grade when Kyle had died because of manbearpig. I'd managed to slap him back to life, I'll be damned if it doesn't work for Kenny too!  
"Wake up! I know you can, you poor asshole! Get up!" I growled angrily at him.  
Stan and Kyle grabbed me from behind and attempted to pry me from Kenny's body, but my strength held me there. Suddenly even to my surprise, Kenny began to sputter and cough as the colour returned to his cheeks. I let go of him and let him sit up himself.

"Ha! You see! I saved his life, you can't send me to jail now!" I insisted.

"That sounds good enough for me" Mr Garrison said and, like the stupid teachers they are, the rest nodded in agreement. Thank god all the adults in South Park are so stupid, I thought satisfied.

I was so far gone that I'd even passed purgatory. I'd been just about to enter hell's gate when suddenly I was waking up, except I wasn't waking up in my bed like usual. I was gasping for air, soaked and surrounded by my classmates. I had a moment of panic as I realised where I was. I clutched my arms in front of myself to cover my chest in reflex but instead I found a towel already doing the job. Someone pulled me in a tight hug and I realized it was Butters. I sighed in relief as it all made sense. Butters must have put the towel over me to cover my chest.

"Thanks" I whispered softly and he pulled back giving me a smile, showing me he understood what I meant.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle insisted and I realized there were still a lot of people watching me. I nodded and shakily stood up.

"Yeah, I think I need to get home and rest though" I mumbled and Mr Garrison quickly volunteered to take me. Shivering and still clutching the towel around me I followed him to the parking lot.

I didn't really pay attention to the drive home, I was too concerned with the fact that I was alive. This doesn't make any sense. I shouldn't be alive. I was dead, and believe me I _know_ dead. There was no way they could have revived me without some kind of defibrillator. I've only been revived once, by some stupid doctors. And even _they_ had to hook me up to a bunch of machines to keep me alive because I was in a vegetable state.

Besides, this time felt different. Back then it had felt like I was sucked back into my body forcefully. But this time had felt like every other time I woke up after a death. I felt rejuvenated and fresh. Hell there wasn't even any water in my lungs!

We parked in front of my house and I softly thanked Mr Garrison.

"I should be thanking _you_ for giving me an excuse to leave early" Mr Garrison replied and happily drove off.

The house was empty when I arrived. Mum and Dad were probably out buying some more weed. I hastily stripped off my wet clothes and had a warm shower. That's exactly what I need to wash the nervous feeling off me. But it didn't seem to help, actually it made me feel worse. All the shower did was give me more time to think about it and worry.

I got dressed determinedly as I decided what I had to do. There was only one person I knew who would have any idea what had happened today.

I drew a pentagram in chalk on my bedroom floor and set candles on each point. A long time ago, he'd told me how to summon him in case of an emergency.

I mumbled the chants under my breath. It was in a language I didn't understand but I didn't think I really wanted to know what I was saying. The candles flared as their fires burst into huge flames and suddenly a boy with jet black hair and matching dark clothes stood before me.  
"Who dares summon Damien, Son of Satan, Prince of Darkness, Bringer of-" he caught sight of me and sighed, the candles flickered back to their usual shape, "oh it's you"

He almost sounded uninterested as he droned, "what do you want?"

"Look something weird happened today and I really need your help to figure out what happened" I muttered nervously. Even though I hung out with Damien a lot, I knew he was someone to be wary around. I was always on my toes when I talked to Damien.

"Fine, go on" he said sitting down inside the pentagon casually.

"Well, I died today" I admitted and he raised an eyebrow at me.  
"So? You die all the time" he reminded me.  
"No you don't get it. I shouldn't be _alive_. Somehow I was brought back, and it wasn't like that time I was revived by doctors. It felt more like I was resurrected" I tried to explain. Despite my lack in confidence of how I'd explained it, Damien seemed to understand.

"So someone brought you back to life the non-medical way?" he ventured.

"I think so. It didn't feel normal, it felt just like it usually does but this time everyone remembered I had died and I was still in the same body" I explained.

Damien nodded in understanding and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"And who was the one who resurrected you?" Damien asked. I hesitated and thought back to the moment I woke up. The first thing I remember was staring right into the hazel eyes of Eric Cartman.  
"Cartman" I admitted. Damien nodded and seemed to have made a decision.

"I think I know what's going on. Let me ask you something. What drew you to Eric Cartman and his friends in the first place? Why, out of all the boys in your school, did you decide to hang with those three boys in particular?" Damien ventured.

"I-I don't know. I guess we just hit it off. We were kids, kids make friends with everyone" I insisted.

Damien seemed unconvinced.

"Well then let me ask you this, why is it that in death it's Cartman that you always turn to? When you became a ghost to warn of the apocalypse, why did you choose Cartman? Why was it Cartman that your soul became trapped inside?" Damien pressed.

"That son of a bitch drank my ashes" I explained.

"It takes more than drinking someone's ashes to cause a soul to inhabit a body, Kenny. There has to be a connection there already, something to attract the soul in the first place" Damien explained.

"What are you getting to?" I asked warily.

"Have you ever wondered why I came to South Park, out of all the places on earth?" Damien continued.

"Actually no, now that I think about" I admitted.

"Well I came here because I was looking for something, or to be precise someone" he explained, "have you ever heard of a Shadow Bond?" I shook my head in confusion.  
"A shadow bond occurs in Lower level Immortals with at least one or both mortal parents like you. Because my mother was a mortal, I too have a Shadow bond. You see, because we are not entirely immortal we do not possess as much power as full immortals like my father. So instead we obtain our power using a human host. This human serves as an energy source to us. I came to South Park because I'd tracked my human host to your town. You see a host is born to a certain immortal and that host will bond with them and only them. Hence the term, Shadow bond. I joined your class because a host is always born the same age as their immortal master" Damien explained.

"So what you're saying is…you think I have some mystical bond with Cartman?" I asked sceptically.

Damien nodded.

"Fine…let's just say you're right. How the hell did he bring me back to life today?" I insisted.

"Bonding is a two way street. If you can draw power from him, he can do the same from you. He probably did it without even realising. Resurrection is your power is it not?" Damien replied.

"I guess" I said unconvinced, "but does he know he's my host? And what the hell do I do about it if he _is _my host? And does that mean Cartman is immortal too?"

"You ask a lot of question," he grumbled, "to answer your first question, I doubt he is aware of it at all. Sure he may notice some things that other humans don't, for example he almost certainly is aware of your deaths at least. But being the selfish asshole he is, I doubt he really cares enough to acknowledge it." I scowled at that knowing that if that's true I'm definitely going to kick Cartman's ass for not telling me!

Damien continued, "And as for what you should do, I don't think you really need to do anything. The bond has been working without your knowledge for years now. The fact that you're aware of it doesn't change anything. The only reason I needed to find mine is because I couldn't register the power transfer from hell. My powers only worked on earth because that's where my host was. And finally, no he isn't immortal, hosts are very much human. They die all the time. I made the mistake of not taking care of mine on earth, now he's dead. But I'll be damned if that stops me from using that French idiot as a power source down here in hell" Damien grumbled

A shout suddenly echoed from the pentagram from behind Damien.  
"I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT AGAIN! I'M NOT FRENCH!" a british accent growled.

"Oh my god, _Pip_ is your host!?" I shouted with a chuckle.

Damien looked away embarrassed, his cheeks growing uncharacteristically red.  
"It's not like I _chose_ that overly happy fool" he insisted.

"So what do hosts do exactly?" I asked curiously.

"They are our link to the human world, they are our messengers when we are on the other side and if necessary our vessels" he explained. I registered this for a moment and smiled as an idea hit me. Maybe I could somehow use Cartman as a way to get people to remember my curse once and for all. The only problem would be convincing the asshole to help me. I groaned, out of all the people in the world why did I have to bond with the most self-centred, annoying and manipulative bastard in South Park. Like I don't already have enough to deal with.


	7. Chapter Six

**OK guys just letting you know that I probably won't be putting up another chapter for a few days. I have work everyday this week after school and most likely will be too tired to write. But I'll try to post a chapter as soon as I can :)**

A knock interrupted my thoughts and both Damien and I froze. Who the hell would be at my front door? If it was my parents they wouldn't bother knocking. I glanced at Damien and he nodded in understanding, disappearing in a burst of flames.

"Coming!" I called as I headed towards the door. I hesitated before opening the door warily. I relaxed as I realised it was Butters.  
"Oh Butters, it's you" I said gratefully. He fidgeted and rubbed his knuckles together.

"I just wanted to stop by after school to make sure you were ok. That was a pretty close call today" he mumbled. I stepped aside letting him in.

"Yeah well lucky you were there to cover me or else everyone would have found out I was a girl" I replied gratefully. He gave me a strange look.

"I was talking about how you almost died" he explained.

"Oh that. Don't worry about it. I'm fine" I said brushing it off.

"I don't know how you can be so calm after almost dying" he admitted looking at me in disbelief, "I'd be really shaken up"

I was beginning to realise trying to act like nothing happened wasn't going to be an option this time. No doubt a lot of people are gonna ask me what it was like to die, or if I was ok. It felt strange acknowledging a death after usually keeping them to myself for so long. I tried unsuccessfully to appear more concerned.

"Oh uh yeah it was really scary." I mumbled unconvincingly. Butters just looked at me uncertainly for a moment then seemed let it go.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that even though the teacher's didn't punish Cartman, Stan and Kyle said they're not going to talk to him until he apologizes to you" Butters said satisfied.

This caught me by surprise. I hadn't even thought about being mad at Cartman. I mean sure he had killed me, but it wouldn't be the first time someone close to me had. Besides, Cartman most likely knew I'd come back so it's not like he _tried_ to murder me. I guess other people would assume I'd be furious at him. I really should be mad I mean just cause he's an asshole doesn't give him a right to kill me, but for some reason I just _couldn't._ I mean he'd brought me back to life, even if it _was_ just to get himself out of trouble. Anyway at least my entire day with Butters would be remembered, in a way I kind of owed Cartman for that.

Butters noticed my silence and he frowned in concern, "Is something wrong? I thought you'd be happy"

I shook my head trying to shake my thoughts away_. I've thought about Cartman enough today, I'll deal with him tomorrow_, I thought determinedly.

"Yeah I'm fine, sorry I guess I'm still a little in shock from today" I assured him. He nodded accepting my excuse.

Then out of nowhere he said " you know, this is the first time I've ever been to your house. Even after all these years"

He looked around curiously and suddenly I felt embarrassed. I've never really been ashamed of my house until now. Cleaning has never been a priority in my family. He must think it's a dump.

"No loss there" I mumbled. He just smiled apparently not fazed by the surroundings. I felt awkward just standing in the middle of the living room so I suggested we go to my room.

"Where's your family?" he asked following me.

I shrugged, "Not sure. Probably just doing their own thing"

Butters looked confused, "But wouldn't they want to make sure you were ok after today's accident?"

"I don't think anyone told them" I replied nonchalantly.

Butters looked shocked. Dammit I really need to start lying to cover this up. This isn't a normal death I'm dealing with. This time everyone remembers, so I can't just act like it's not important. Otherwise people will get suspiscious. _So what?_ I thought suddenly, _isn't that what you want? For people to know your curse._ I shook that idea out of my head. No. I only wanted the people close to me to know. The people I can trust to not sell me out to some government facility to be tested on like a lab rat.

Before I could come up with another excuse for Butters, I opened my door to my room and froze. The pentagram and candles were all still where I'd left them. Shit Shit Shit! Why hadn't I packed them away? I glanced nervously behind me hoping Butters hadn't seen but to my dismay he was standing there wide-eyed looking at the scene in front of him.

"Uh…I was just praying" I murmured awkwardly, "you'know to thank god for not killing me today"  
I hastily began blowing out the candles and cleaning up the mess. Once done I looked nervously towards Butters. He sat on my bed watching me curiously.

"You must be really serious about praying" he said finally.  
"I suppose" I mumbled. Eagerly trying to change the subject I continued, "You don't mind if I change, do you? Since you already know I'm a girl, it doesn't matter what I wear"

"No problem" he assured me. I grabbed a few clothes and headed to the bathroom. Shortly I returned in a tank top and some shorts. It felt so great to be out of that parka. It's summer time and even in this mountain town that's always snowing, it still gets pretty warm.

I emerged and Butter's looked my way. I saw his eyes widen slightly and he blushed looking down. Was it too much? Maybe I should put on a shirt that covered more skin. I dismissed the idea though, not wanting to look like I was insecure. I took a seat beside Butters on the bed and we sat there awkwardly for a moment, not sure what to say.

I was the first to break the silence, "Thanks again for being so understanding about this whole thing. I mean I would have totally understood if you freaked out"

"It's alright. I'm sure you would have done the same thing for me" he insisted. I didn't know if that was true, Butters and I had never really been close. But that sure would change now that he knew my secret. It felt so good when I unburdened myself today, I'm definitely going to take advantage of him as my confidant from now on.

I settled further onto the bed leaning my back into the headboard. Butters still sat kind of awkwardly on the edge of my bed, unsure of what to do.

"You wanna watch a movie?" I suggested. He agreed, eager to have something to do. I grabbed the remote from my bedside table and turned the tv on. I had used some of my Cartmanland to buy this tv. My parents had given it to me since _I _was the one who had to die for it. The rest is in the bank for my college fund. It was probably the most expensive thing in the house.

I searched through my harddrive, also bought with Cartman's money, for a movie.

"See anything you wanna watch?" I asked Butters. I scooted over and he joined me at the top of the bed.

"Wow you have Asses of Fire XI?" he gasped.  
"Sure, wanna see it?" I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. I turned off the lights and started the movie. The atmosphere in my room completely changed in this low lighting and it reminded me of the changing room. My cheeks blushed furiously as my mind replayed the events. I'd never been so close to a boy like that. I had felt his bare chest against mine. My heart pounded and I couldn't help noticing how close we were sitting. He didn't seem to notice as I edged closer to him slightly. I could feel his warmth next to me, I wanted to be even closer.

_Stop it_, I warned myself. I'd had these kind of urges before, whenever I had a crush. All I'd wanted was to be closer to them, much closer. But those guys had thought I was a boy so I couldn't give in to my desires. But now, Butters knew I was a girl and he was ok with that. Maybe he wouldn't be opposed...Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned into Butters resting my head on his shoulder. He was a good height for it and it felt quite comfortable. Butters didn't say anything but leaned into me too. I took that as a good sign and couldn't help grinning.

We continued to watch the movie but I didn't really pay attention to the storyline. Terrance and Phillip had continued to be popular even in our teens but it was all pretty much the same. Fart jokes, Fart jokes and more fart jokes. So instead I spent the movie focussing on Butters. I listened to the sound of his breathing, the beat of his heart and on the pleasant feel of his shoulder against me cheek. He never pulled away or acted like he didn't want me there so I was happy to stay where I was the entire movie. We were up to the part of the movie where Terrance and Phillip saved their wives the Queef sisters, from Scott the giant dick. The girls happily jumped into their husbands arms and kissed them eagerly. I sighed longingly. I'd always wondered what a kiss was like. Yep that's right, I'm sixteen and never been kissed. Between pretending to be a boy and dying all the time it was kind of hard to find a boy willing. My eyes drifted up towards Butters curiously. His eyes were still set on the movie and I watched the flickering light of the tv flutter over his face. My eyes drifted to his lips. I began to wonder how they'd feel against mine. Would they be soft? What would it taste like? My cheeks burned as the thoughts ran through my head.

_Slow down. He's only known that you're a girl for a day. He probably still thinks of you as a boy. The last thing you want to do is scare him off! _I thought sternly. So instead I turned my eyes back to the tv, watching the coloured shapes move across the screen not registering what I was seeing. While my mind drifted to thoughts of kisses.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Hey guys, finally I have a day off from work. I **_**was**_** gonna spend it sleeping all day but just for you guys I decided to write another chapter :P**

So many shocks had occurred today, it was a wonder I was dealing with it all so well. First I found out that this whole time Kenny's been a girl. _Then_ I stood up for her to Eric, _Eric Cartman_, my main tormentor since elementary school. And if that's not enough, he ends up drowning Kenny for it and she almost dies!

I still can't believe she survived. I was sure I'd lost her for a while there. If she'd died it would have been my fault. I don't think I would have ever forgiven myself. I never realised how much I valued her friendship before. Sure we'd been friends, but we'd never really been close. Most of the time when we hung out it was in a group. Today had been the first time we'd really spent time alone.I couldn't help stopping by her house after school to check on her. Kenny's house is pretty small, but it's not as bad as Cartman had made it seem. Actually it's pretty normal, well except for the weird ritual stuff in Kenny's room. I didn't want to pry into it though, Kenny obviously doesn't want to share and to be honest Kenny scares me. Not in a Cartman way, but in a "I don't think I wanna know" kind of sense.

Kenny was always someone I looked up to, even now that I know she's a girl, I still think she's one of the toughest people I know. Not once in all my years of knowing Kenny, have I seen anything get to her. She doesn't cry, or get afraid or let people push her around like I do. It's like she's not afraid of anything. She has a seriousness about her that is kind of intimidating at times. Most of the time Kenny is immature and swears a lot. But rare instances every now and then, she'll say something deep and much beyond her years, like she knows things, dark things that normal teens shouldn't. Although those moments are fleeting, you get a glimpse to a side of a Kenny that was much darker than the usual light-hearted Kenny we thought we knew. I think it's because of this everyone has an unspoken respect for Kenny.

When we were young and played superheroes, she was always taking it a little more seriously than everyone else. Even though I wasn't really part of the gang, being a villain, I was in the cell enough of the time to feel that way. Once Cartman was kicked out, Kenny was the obvious choice for leader. Nobody seemed to argue that Mysterion, her alter ego, was by far the most serious and determined of the group. It was in her moments as Mysterion that we saw that serious side appear more present. It was as if Mysterion was a direct outlet for that personality, and trust me nobody wanted to go against that side of Kenny. Except maybe Cartman, he never held that respect we all had for Kenny. Although, he didn't respect anyone but himself anyway.

It's strange to think that same Kenny who I've been intimidated by all this time is the girl I see now. She seems much gentler, her thin frame curled up next to me .As my mind wanders to the memory of her lifeless form when she'd died this afternoon, I obey the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her. Like I need to cling to her so I won't lose her again. It's pleasantly comfortable being with her like this. We don't even have to say anything. We just sit there watching the movie.

It was pretty late when Kenny's family finally got home. Apparently Kenny's mum had gotten really sick that afternoon. They'd been at the hospital. Kenny's siblings had been taken out of school to join them but because Kenny had already left, she wasn't notified.

Upon seeing Kenny her mother grips her in a tight hug."Oh Kenny I was so scared. I thought it had been real this time. When I saw all that blood…oh my baby. I thought I'd lost you" she mutters in a hushed tone. First I had assumed her mother must have heard the news about this afternoon until I heard the blood comment. Curiosity sparked in me but I knew it wasn't my place to ask. The atmosphere in the room was tense with raw emotion. I took that as a sign I should leave. After a quick goodbye to Kenny, she waves to me still clutched in her mother's embrace looking as confused by her actions as I am.

I couldn't help the sobs trail down my cheeks as I held my little girl close. She's alive, my baby's alive! This afternoon had been the worst experience of my life. I was used to the familiar bump appearing in my stomach after one of my daughter's deaths, that was normal. What was _not_ normal was what happened next. I had a miscarriage. The event was so unexpected and horrifying I immediately called for my husband. He immediately raced me to the hospital and the doctors notified me I had in fact, lost my baby. I couldn't tell them it was impossible. That this was no normal pregnancy. It had to be some horrible mistake.

Then came the fears. What if there wasn't going to be another pregnancy? What if the curse was somehow broken and that had been Kenny's last resurrection? Was my daughter gone forever? Her real death finally occurring as I'd always feared? I hadn't even been able to speak the trip home. A deafening silence had fallen between my husband and I. Only the two of us knew what this might mean. Our two other children had no idea that they're sister may be gone forever. All they knew was they'd lost a sibling they'd never even knew was coming.

Kenny patted my back comfortingly, trying to soothe me. I looked up at her and saw the questioning look in her eyes. But I _couldn't_ explain. I couldn't tell her that it was our fault she was forced to a life of constant pain and suffering. I _couldn't_ admit that it was our foolishness that had cursed her to relive her death over and over. I _couldn't_ confess to her that we were such awful parents that we'd sold the entire future of our child away to some cult for something as measly as _free beer. T_ears of both guilt and relief flowed down my cheeks now as I once again, as I'd done so many times over the years, let myself break down in regret.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Aww only two reviews this time. I'm starting to regret not posting that chapter sooner. Stupid job :(  
Well for those of you who **_**are**_** still reading I'll post a new chapter anyway :) **

"You selfish asshole!" I scream as I reach the bus stop. I arrived earlier today so that I could catch Cartman alone. He's almost always the first there.  
"Hey Kinneh" Cartman says nonchalantly as if I didn't say anything.  
"Don't 'Hey Kenny' me. You know what I'm pissed about" I growled angrily.  
"What, did you get some of Kyle's sand in your vagina?" Cartman retorts back.  
"That joke's never been funny, asshole. Cut the crap, I _know_ you remember drowning me yesterday" I snap angrily. Cartman pauses and then frowns as if he's trying to decide how to reply. Soon enough he shrugs.  
"So what? It's not like it's the first time you've died, Kinneh" he says casually.

I grab the collar of his shirt angrily and tug him upwards to meet my eyes. He may be buff now but I'm still taller. I glare at him furiously.  
"And _when_ were you planning on telling me you knew about that?" I hiss through gritted teeth. Cartman hesitates startled for a moment at the rage I'm expressing. Then catches himself quickly, trying to look unaffected.  
"Watch it Kinneh. I'm a lot stronger than you" he warns.  
"Fine try it. I dare you. I've had far worse and _you _know it" I challenge him. He frowns.  
"Fine, I knew about your…whatever you call that freaky zombie shit you do. So what? I never told anyone" he assures me.  
"That's the _point! _Did you ever think to tell me? That maybe I'd like to know that _someone_ remembers!?" I yell once again, "do you _know_ what it's like having something like that happen to you _all the time_ and not even have _one_ person to confide in?"

Cartman's expression softens and I start to feel hope that maybe the asshole _does_ have a heart, but then that stupid frown is back on his face, "You're sounding like a whiny pussy. I killed you, so what? You die all the time and never got angry before" he insists.  
That's when I lose it. Before I've even thought about it, my fist has connected to his face. He stumbled back surprised at the impact. Then he raises a hand to a throbbing pain above his lips, his eyes widen seeing blood coat his fingers.  
"Ay! You broke my nose, you poor piece of shit!" he screams in outrage. He lunges toward me and I meet him eagerly. I've wanted to knock some sense into this bastard since we were kids. He has the upper hand since he has the muscles of a professional wrestler and I'm a teenage girl, but damn it if I'm gonna lose without a fight.

We both get some good punches in before suddenly we're being dragged apart by unknown arms behind us. I snap my head to look at the culprit in outrage and Cartman does the same. Stan and Kyle had arrived together and noticing the fight had stepped in. Kyle grips Cartman's waist firmly, and surprisingly Cartman doesn't struggle. Stan has his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and I push him off me before his arms have the chance to drift up any further.  
"What the hell is going on?" Kyle exclaims releasing his hold on Cartman and glancing at the both of us. I wipe a trail of blood from my busted lip and shrug.  
"Cartman was being an asshole, nothing new" I explain. Cartman frowns but doesn't deny it. Stan and Kyle don't look convinced.

"We all know Cartman's an asshole," Kyle begins and Cartman shouts an 'Ay!' but Kyle continues, "but you've never gotten into a fight before. Hell we've never even seen you do more than yell at Cartman"  
"Well today's different," I insisted and in the heat of the moment I said, "go ahead Cartman, tell them. They never believe me, but you can make anyone believe anything."  
I knew that, at least, was true. Cartman was like a pro at manipulation. He can talk his way in or out of anything. If anyone had a chance at convincing them it was him. Cartman looks at me as if I'm insane.  
"I don't know what you're talking about Kinneh" he said, lying through his teeth. God dammit, how does he _do _that? Lie so calmly, straight to my face, and make me doubt even myself.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Yes you _do. _Come on, Cartman this is my _life_ you're screwing with. Just tell them so I can finally have some peace!"  
"What are you talking about Kenny? Tell us what?" Stan said calmly, holding up his hands as if I'm a rabid dog, noticing the wild look in my eyes.  
"I've had enough of this" I sighed in defeat. This felt just like the time I'd tried to tell them in fourth grade, when Cthulhu had attacked. I'd been so frustrated I'd shot myself in front of them. On impulse I pull my hand in my pocket. I clasp it around the gun I keep on me at all times, in case I get stuck in a slow, painful death and need to end it quickly.

Pulling it out, I pointed it at Cartman. His eyes widened and he held up his arms.  
"What are you doing. Kinneh?" he hissed.  
"What? I thought you said killing someone was _no big deal_" I quote him clamly.  
Of course I wasn't going to shoot him., the safety was on for god's sake. But maybe this would be enough to scare him into telling them.  
"I said killing _you_ wasn't a big deal" he insisted.  
"And why is _that?" _I probe, and fear flashes over his face as step forward pressing the gun directly to his throat.

"Kenny, what the hell? Put down the gun, you could kill him!" Kyle shouts but neither him nor Stan move, both worried I've gone insane and will kill them too.  
"Th-this isn't funny Kinneh. I'm seriously" Cartman stutters and swallows nervously. I feel the gun bob at the movement. I glare into his eyes, willing him to give up. But even faced with death the asshole is still as stubborn as ever. Fine. I step back and remove the gun from his throat.  
"This isn't over" I swear and then before anyone can even sigh in relief, I've switched off the safety and pressed the gun to my head. I hear Stan and Kyle both shout 'No!" but it's too late. I pull the trigger.

It's unfortunate that I had to end it that way. But I couldn't let Kyle and Stan remember seeing me like that. They'd never let it go, not to mention probably never talk to me again. Besides, I'd made my point. _Cartman_ would remember, and that's all that really matters.

**Well guys, I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't forget to review :) **


	10. Chapter Nine

**Thanks for all the great reviews guys :D  
You'll be happy to know I have a week off from school AND work starting tomorrow. So I'll have heaps of time to write. Yay! :3**

I skimmed through purgatory quickly and was at Hell's entrance before I knew it. The fiery gates of Hell were open, as they always were, and I stepped through the familiar passage. The line was huge, as usual, many were crying or screaming as they realised their eternity would be spent in this inferno of despar. But I just pushed my way past the distraught crowd nonchalantly, I'd been here too many times for the place to faze me anymore.

As I finally made my way towards the front, I found there small line I was looking for. A guard stood in front of a red rope looking like a bouncer at a nightclub. I headed forward but was stopped in my tracks by his large hand.  
"Where do you think you're going kid? This line is for VIPs only, so unless you murdered thousands of people in your short lifetime, go to the back of the line!"  
I hate this part. They are constantly changing the bouncer so I have to go through this annoying process every time I die. Couldn't they just make it easier and have a permanent guard? _Of course not. This is hell, nothing's ever easy, _I grumbled to myself.  
"My name's on the list. Kenny McCormick" I told him impatiently. He incredulously picked up his clipboard which had been secured to his waist and gave it a skim. His eyebrows raised in surprise when he found my name.  
"Oh! My apologies!" he insisted bowing, "Please come in"

He opened the red rope and I entered. I gave a satisfied grunt, I always loved that part though. The look on their face when they saw my name, scrawled across the list in gold. Gold signifying I was no ordinary VIP. The way they'd grovel for my respect after insulting me, it never gets old. I smirk and continue on my way.

The gate leads to the high estate section of Hell where the VIPs live. All the most infamous people in history lived here. Hitler, Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson and countless reside here. I hated going through here, it gave me the chills. But just beyond the 'neighbourhood' was my destination, Satan's Castle. Damien would be there as always, I wonder indifferently how long my stay will last this time. It's hard to tell with gunshot wounds to the head. No more than a day surely.

As I finally reached the castle gates I was met once again by a guard. But this time he was heavily armed.  
"Halt! Who goes there?" he demanded and then catching sight of my orange hood he lowered his weapon, "oh it's you. Master Damien is in his quarters, you may enter"  
Thank god the guards have all been around long enough to recognise me. I nodded and followed his instructions.

I wove my way through the seemingly never ending maze of hallways effortlessly. I knew exactly where Damien's room was, I probably knew this castle better than my own town. I sure as hell spend more time here, that's for sure. Soon I found the huge wooden doors that guarded Damien's room. I knocked waiting for him to answer. I'd learned from experience that barging into Damien's room uninvited was a bad idea. Last time I'd interrupted him training his powers and almost been burned to a crisp.

After a moment Damien answered  
"I hadn't expected to see you so soon" he muttered disinterestedly and stepped aside allowing me entrance.  
I shrugged, "Something unexpected came up"  
"Isn't it always?" he chuckled rhetorically.

To my surprise we weren't alone, I glanced over at the other soul in the room.  
"Pip" I said and couldn't fight the grin that spread across my face seeing him. It'd been years since I'd seen the little Brit. Sure he'd never been treated very kindly by us when he was alive and regretfully I know I was as much a part of his torment as the others, but to be honest I'd kind of missed him.  
"Hello, Kenneth. It's such a treat seeing you again. Damien informed me I no longer have to hide my presence. Boy it's such a relieve to no longer hide in the other room" the boy's accented voice greeted me happily.  
"You made him hide in the other room _every_ time I came here since he died!" I gasp in disbelief.  
"What? I don't trust him not to wander off. This is _Hell_ it's dangerous out there for someone as stupidly innocent as that fool" Damien assures me.  
"Aww so you _worry_ about him?" I nudge him smirking.  
"Only for my own personal agenda. I need him for my powers, that's _all" _he insists, his cheeks growing red.  
"He just doesn't want others to know he's a softy deep inside" Pip whispers.  
Damien's eyes glow red and he shouts in outrage, "I am not!"  
Pip and I both smirk at him, unaffected. He grumbles under his breath and trudges to sit on his bed.

I shift uncomfortably in my parka, the heat in hell is definitely not the weather for such clothing. I strip off the layer, leaving myself in the t-shirt underneath. Damien already knows I'm a girl, there really wasn't a need to hide it from the him, the anti-christ never acted surprised anyway. He just shrugged uninterestedly as he did so often. Surprisingly Pip didn't look surprised either, I guess Damien had filled him in. I began to wonder just how close they really were. I mean they'd apparently been living together in this castle for years.

Before I had a chance to ask, Damien spoke, "What happened with your host? Did you prove that Cartman boy id your host or not?"  
I scowled, "Well he _definitely _remembers, that's for sure"  
"I take it didn't go well then" he replied not sounding surprised.  
"I broke his nose" I hissed shortly. He chuckled approvingly.  
"It's always best to show you're in control early. A disobedient host is never good news. I've never had that problem with Pip, but I know many demons who have" Damien clarified.  
"I'm pretty sure that bastard's as stubborn as ever" I growled frustrated.  
"Then I think it's about time you show him that you're the Master and he's just a tool to be used as you wish" Damien suggested, all signs of his boredom dissapearing. Pip shifted uncomfortably recognising that look in Damien's eyes.  
I was intrigued instantly, "What do you have in mind?"  
Damien grinned darkly…

**Don't forget to review :D**


	11. Chapter Ten

**Thanks again for the reviews guys. Boy a lot of you really hate Cartman xD  
Well here it is :3 **

"You need to take what's rightfully yours" Damien replied with a chuckle.  
"Look, I'm sick of you being so cryptic. Is that some dark prince thing or are you just a douche?" I growled. He sighed unhappily.  
"Fine, take all the fun out of it" he grumbled, "What I mean is, you need to show Cartman that rightfully, his body belongs to you"  
"Look, I don't know what you do with _your _host. But I don't want Cartman" I objected.  
Damien sighed exasperatedly, "Not like _that. _I meant you need to seize control of his body. Possess him, if you will" _  
_  
I wasn't convinced, "I've already possessed the bastard once already. It wasn't much of a punishment to him. It was worse for me, actually"  
Damien was already heading for a large cabinet as if I hadn't spoken. Inside were various glass bottles with unknown liquids. He hovered his hand over each of them thoughtfully and then with a nod he grabbed a dark blue one.  
"That was when Cartman still had main control" he explained then held up the bottle, "This elixir will help concentrate your powers so that your soul will have complete control over him. Then you could make him do anything. Make his worst fears come true. Even force him to kill himself…if that's what you want"  
Damien gave me an evil smile and I took the vial warily. "What's in it?"  
"You don't want to know. Just drink it" he instructed.

I was still hesitant.  
"But last time he had to drink my ashes. How will I get him to do it again?" I insisted.  
"That was when you weren't _trying_ to possess him. Possession is quite simple, I'll teach you" he assured me. I was finally swayed and my mind began to run wild with all the things I could make Cartman do. There are a _lot_ of things I need to pay him back for. This should be interesting. I matched Damien with a dark grin and Pip looked at the two of us nervously.

"Oh dear. I dare say this is not a very good idea, Damien" he mumbled and fidgeted nervously.  
"Silence!" Damien commanded. Pip sighed knowing it was no use arguing when Damien got like this. So instead he settled on the bed trying to stay uninvolved and simply observe. It was interesting actually. Kenny and Damien sat cross legged on the floor facing eachother. Damien instructed Kenny to close her eyes and clear her mind. Damien spoke calmly and softly as he guided her through the meditation. Pip couldn't help but smile, Damien could be sweet when he wasn't yelling. Sometimes, Damien was almost _kind_. Pip much preferred that side of him than the wicked mask he wore in front of others.

Damien continued his soothing commands "Ok now I want you to concentrate on Cartman. Think about everything you know about him. The way he looks, the things he loves, the things he hates-"  
"Ha! I don't have time to list all the things that bastard hates" I objected interrupting him with a smirk. I couldn't see Damien's face but I knew he was scowling at me.  
"_Focus"_ he insisted and I nodded trying to clear my mind once again. Part of me felt really stupid. I'd always thought yoga or stuff like this was lame. How does sitting around trying to relax solve anything? But instead of telling Damien that I tried to do as he said.

I tried to draw a picture of Cartman in my head. I started with his clothes. They hadn't changed at all since we were kids. In fact, a lot of us still wore the same kind of clothes. Then I tried to think of some of the things he loved. KFC was definitely on that list. He still hadn't grown out of a lot of things from his childhood such as Wellington Bear and Clyde frog so I added them as well. His Mum although he's a total dick to her, I know he cares about her. Then I began the things he hated. Hippies, Lines for rides, minorities, Jews, Gingers, people from Jersey…which brings me to the most confusing item on either list, Kyle. Whether the asshole would admit it or not, Kyle was a big part of his world, whether he would be on the hate list or the love list. I decided I would just add Kyle to the mix, not knowing where he belonged.

"Ok what now?" I asked Damien nervously. I still wasn't sure I really wanted to possess Cartman again. How would I even get out? The exorcism wasn't very pleasant the last time.  
"Now I want you to imagine that you _are_ Cartman. Embrace his way of thinking, combine his thoughts with yours" Damien directed.

Alright this should be easy, I thought to myself as I tried to imagine what Cartman's thoughts would be." _I'm Cartman, I hate everyone except myself and I want everyone to RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! And if you don't like that I'll make you eat your parents. I hate Jews, especially Kahl. I'm always manipulating people and getting my way. But if I don't get my way, then screw you guys I'm going home!"_

Damien spoke once more, "You need to think harder. Connect deeper into his emotions"  
"He _has_ no deep emotions" I complain.  
"You need to stop thinking about all the negative parts of him. He must has some underlying emotions. You need to reach them" Damien claimed. I sighed exasperatedly.  
What could that asshole have any real feelings about? Then it hit me. The one thing noone ever jokes about with Cartman. The only thing I've ever seen him truly upset about. His father.

It was no secret that Cartman killed Scott's parents and made him eat them. But when he found out that Scott's dad had actually been his father too…Well I know that must have hit hard. Even though he had passed his crying off as him being upset for having 'ginger genes'. But it had obviously taken its toll on him. He didn't leave his bedroom for a week after that. We were all pretty worried about him and ready to see if he was ok. But then suddenly he came back to school, totally normal as if nothing had happened. We all kind of forgot about it, assuming he was over it.

I decided to focus on how that would have made me feel, discovering I'd killed my own father. The father that had abandoned me my whole life but I'd never lost hope of meeting. I imagined horror, guilt, regret and sadness all flooding through me. I felt the longing to go back and change what I'd done. To be able to see the father I'd always dreamed of knowing.

Then I felt it. It was as if a string had formed, connected to the middle of my chest, pulling me to my destination. It all happened pretty quickly. One minute I could feel myself sitting on Damien's floor, the next minute I was sitting in Mr Garrison's class bored as hell. I looked down at myself seeing a red jacket and yellow gloves. It worked! I felt a stirring inside me as I felt an uncertainty that wasn't my own.

_What the hell? Ay! Why can't I move? _Cartman's voice screeched in my head.  
I smirked and sent my thoughts to him. _It's me, Cartman. I just thought it was about time I got some revenge.  
K-Kinneh? What are you doing in my body? I thought I had to drink your ashes-  
_I cut him off_. I pulled a few strings. Now I have complete control of your body Cartman. _**  
**_What! This isn't funny Kinneh! Let me out! _He shouted anxiously._**  
**_I gave a satisfied chuckle as I felt Cartman trying unsuccessfully to break free from the confines of his mind. _Game on, asshole. I own you._

_**Ok there it is. Haha oh Cartman, wait til you see what Kenny has in store for you ;)  
Don't forget to review :D**_


	12. Chapter Eleven

I couldn't help the smirk spread across my face, or to be precise Cartman's face. This was going to be fun. What should I do first? First I needed to get out of this classroom.  
"Mr Garrison!" I shouted getting his attention.  
"What is it, Eric?" He asked exasperatedly.  
"I just wanted to make sure. So are you still a lesbian or are you gay again?" Chuckles erupted around the class.  
"Eric Cartman, do you want to go to the principal's office!?" Mr Garrison shouted in outrage.  
"That'd be great actually" I assured him, crossing my arms indignantly.  
"That's it! Eric Cartman report to the principal's office!" Mr Garrison insisted.  
I shrugged a grin on my face, "If you insist"

I walked out of the classroom proudly.  
_Is that the best you got Kinneh? I get in trouble all the time. _Cartman hissed arrogantly.  
_Nope this is just the beginning Cartman. _ I replied with a chuckle.  
As I entered the principal's office she gave a sigh as she saw me, "What was it _this_ time, Eric?"  
"None of your business, bitch" I hissed before grabbing the microphone from her desk. I turned it on and spoke into it, hearing my voice echo through the school's intercom. "Attention everyone, this is Eric Cartman. I have an announcement."  
"What do you think you're doing young man?" the principal yelled in disbelief.  
I ignored her, digging into Eric's mind searching for some good dirt I could find on him. "Just letting you all know some interesting things about me. My cousin and I once touched wieners. I've dressed up like a girl lots of times and I actually enjoy it. Sometimes I practise making out with my stuffed animal, Clyde frog. The real reason I like wrestling is getting to tackle guys. And most of all I just wanted to say…"  
_Don't do it Kinneh! I'm seriously! _Cartman's panicked voice shouted knowing what I was about to say.  
"…I'm totally gay and in love with Kahl"  
I could practically imagine the classroom's reaction. Everyone's eyes on Kyle as he froze, wide eyed. Then he would stand in outrage, assuming this was another joke. Most likely screaming something like "That son of a bitch!"

I set the microphone back on the principal's desk and she look at me in outrage.  
"You are in big trouble, Eric!" she shouted.  
"Kewl, but actually I have stuff to do so. Screw you, I'm going home" I recited Cartman's catch phrase and left the room, leaving her wide eyed, her mouth open in utter disbelief.  
_Ha you fell for it. I don't really like Kahl. I was just messing with you, _Cartman insisted with a nervous chuckle.  
_I can read your mind, dumbass, I know you're lying _I objected.  
_God Dammit Kinneh! I'm going to kill you! Cartman_ threatened as I casually strolled down the hallway.  
_Whatever, it's not like it'd be the first time. _I shrugged unfazed. _Besides, this is just the start. I have a lot more planned asshole. _

As I passed the classrooms I couldn't help but wonder what Butters was doing. I hadn't seen him since yesterday. I kind of missed him.  
_Ha! And you're the one calling _me_ gay! _Cartman insisted hearing my thoughts. I cut back my retort but I was unable to stop the thought from entering my mind. Dammit, controlling what you say is so much harder in your mind! I cursed as I heard Cartman gasp.  
_You're a girl? Oh man, wait til I tell everyone! _Cartman said laughing hysterically.  
I scowled. _You're really not understanding the position you're in Cartman. How about I remind you?  
_I walked over to the fire alarm and pulled it down without even hesitating. The high pitched bell rang throughout the school. Everyone began milling out of the classrooms and I blended into the crowds as I made my way to the exit.

Leaving the school had been surprisingly easy. Nobody stopped me, nobody even questioned me. But I knew Cartman would be in big trouble later. Maybe even enough for his Mum to actually yell at him for once.  
_Where are we going? _Cartman asked nervously.  
_Don't worry, we're going to one of your favourite places _ I assured him.  
_Casa Bonita? _He asked excitedly.  
_I think you like this place even better_ I insisted with a smirk.

Thank god this town is small, I only had to walk for half an hour before we reached our destination.  
_KFC? We're getting KFC? _He shouted eagerly as we walked inside the store.  
"Can I get a bucket of extra crispy chicken please?" I asked the woman at the counter. I pulled out Cartman's wallet and paid her. He didn't even mind that I'd used his money, he was too busy mentally drooling at the bucket that I now carried.  
_Can we have some chicken, please! You've got to want some too right?_ He asked anxiously. But I ignored him, instead I walked further up the street. Searching for signs of what I was looking for. Finally I found it, the alley where the few homeless left in South Park reside.

_What are you doing, Kinneh? _He asked nervously._  
"Who's hungry?" _ I asked offering the bucket to the four men surrounding a burning trash bin. They looked at me in awe as they grabbed the bucket, thanking me generously.  
_No! No Kinneh! That's my chicken! You can't give it to those hobos! _Cartman protested horrified.  
_Not anymore_. I corrected him cheerfully. I could feel just how annoyed he was. It was like a giant ball of rage accumulating in the back of his mind.

His phone began to ring and I saw that it was his Mother. I answered it despite his protests.  
"What?" I sad trying to sound as rude as possible.  
"You're in a lot of trouble young man. I want you home right now!" she finally managing to sound like the authority.  
"Fuck you" I replied nonchalantly before hanging up.  
_Ay! Don't you talk to my Mum like that! _Cartman argued.  
_I didn't. _You_ did _I replied a satisfied smile still on my face.

I continued on my way. This felt so good, finally teaching Cartman a lesson.  
_You just wait! When I get out of here I'm gonna get you for this Kinneh! _Eric threatened.  
I just smirked. What more could he do that I hadn't already suffered? What could be worse than the curse I already bear?  
_Oh I'll find worse! I promise you that!_ Cartman replied.  
_Well I think it's time we take a visit to an old friend, don't you? _I inquired ominously. Cartman read my thoughts.  
_What? No! Kinneh you can't be serious. He'll kill us both! _Cartman insisted fear rushing through him.  
I shrugged unconcerned. _I'm already dead._

Cartman's struggle to escape his mind became more resistant as we neared my target. But his attempts achieved nothing but frustration on his part. He then turned to begging. His panic was obvious but I didn't give in. I knew this was the one and only person that Cartman was truly afraid of. Not only because that person had a huge vendetta against him, but because he represents the one thing Cartman's vulnerable about.  
I knocked on the door and waited patiently. I didn't have to wait long before the door opened and I greeted the person on the other side.  
"Hello Scott"

**I hope you guys liked this chapter, this is only part one of Kenny's revenge since I couldn't fit all of it in one chapter. I'm also sorry about the loss of Bunny scenes. I promise once this Cartman thing is done we'll have plenty of Bunny fluff :3  
Don't forget to review :D**


	13. Chapter Twelve

Scott tensed when he saw me and then rage flared in his eyes. I felt Cartman internally flinch.  
"What are _you_ doing here? Haven't you done enough!?" he demanded.  
"I came here to say what I did was horrible, I know that. I'm a terrible person and I deserve all the hatred you harbour towards me. If you feel like you have to hurt me that's totally fine. I deserve it, Scott. It's alright, hit me" I assured him.

I was used to pain, this would be nothing compared to what I'd suffered in my many deaths. I closed my eyes, tensing as I prepared myself for pain, hoping Cartman would appreciate the pain more than I would. Surely he'd never felt anything near the pain _I_ was used to so this would seem very painful to him. After a moment of nothing I opened my eyes confused. Scott had his arms crossed and he was looking at me in complete confusion and suspicion.

Scott had become much more intimidating than the slight memory I had of the boy. He was no longer the scrawny teenager he used to be, now in his early twenties. You could see he'd aged much more in mind as well. Most likely because he was forced to grow up quickly when his parents died, having lived alone ever since. The analysing look he gave me was measured and deliberate, as if he was trying to read my intentions just by my face.

Suddenly he spoke, "Why now?"  
"What?" I asked, confused. Why wasn't he hitting me?  
"After all these years, you never contacted me once. The only apology I ever got from you was a lousy gift basket. So why are you here, suddenly owning up to everything? Why now?" he insisted.  
I didn't know how to respond. I just couldn't grasp a possible reply that would satisfy him. His eyes narrowed and I watched in disbelief as he headed for his doorway.

"Wait!" I choked out desperately. He paused and looked back impatiently.  
"What now?" he growled.  
"Aren't you gonna hit me?" I asked feebly. He gave me a good hard look before answering.  
"Hitting you isn't going to bring my parents back. Go home, kid." He commanded, before returning inside and slamming the door behind him.  
I stood there for a while in shock.

I jumped in surprise when Cartman's voice echoed in my head, momentarily forgetting the situation.  
_Why did he let me go?_ he asked in a hushed whisper. For the first time in my life I heard actual emotion in his voice, or was I just feeling his emotions? Either way, the shock and disbelief that radiated through me was more than just my own.  
_I guess he just doesn't see the point in punishing you. He's moved on._ I said finding myself having a deep respect for Scott. He just had a chance to beat his parents' murderer to a pulp and instead he let him go. That's something I know I couldn't do, it must have taken a lot of self-control.

I felt the unsettled feeling in Cartman as guilt and regret clouded over him. I recognised these buried emotions as the ones he harboured for his father. The very same underlying emotions that I had used to get me here. This whole Scott incident was bringing them to the surface. It may not have been the pain I had been intending but I realised this was far worse. Now he would have to live with the guilt his whole life knowing that he would never find closure. Destined to carry the burden, knowing that he'd killed his father and no justice had been served for the crime.

I continued on my way satisfied with how this particular errand had turned out. Cartman had gotten hurt, just not in the way I'd planned. It also reminded me that despite my previous assumptions, the asshole _did_ have feelings even if it was only about this one thing and that was enough for me. It left hope that someday he might actually pass for a human being instead of the soulless bastard he seemed.

I decided it was about time Eric went home. His mother would be more than furious by now and it was getting late. By the time I made it to the Cartman Residence the sun was going down. I don't get to see many sunsets since I usually die before the end of the day. I was too busy admiring it to notice the figure sitting on the front steps.  
"There you are, fatass!" Kyle's voice startled me out my thoughts.

I whipped my head around towards his voice. He now stood, marching over to me angrily. I felt Cartman's soul stir slightly in my head, his mind no longer focussed on his deceased father.  
"Kyle?" I asked genuinely surprised. He paused for a moment cocking his head to the side slightly as if what I'd said was completely bizarre. Then he shook his head trying to focus.  
"What the hell were you doing today!? What kind of game are you playing?" he demanded furiously.  
"It's not a game, Kyle. It's the truth. I have no reason to lie" I assured him. He frowned.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked cocking his head to the side once more. I felt Cartman flinch at his words as if he'd been hit. Ouch, Kyle didn't have to be that harsh about it. I know Cartman's an asshole but the guy had feelings.  
"Nothing's wrong with me Kyle. Is it that hard to believe?" I objected.  
"Not that. _You_. Something's not right" he insisted, "Your accent. It's gone. You didn't call me Kahl"

His eyes narrowed and he stared at me sternly. I felt hope rise within Cartman. Dammit, I'd forgotten about his accent, stupid! I chastised myself internally as I tried to look oblivious on the outside.  
"What're you talking about Kahl?" I hissed incredulously.  
"That's still not right. You sound different" he pressed, "I may hate Cartman but I _know_ the voice that insults me every day and that's not it!"  
I fidgeted knowing when Kyle suspected something he didn't let it go so easily. He looked determined and crossed his arms.  
"Who are you and what have you done with Cartman!?" he demanded.

**Ok guys I hope you enjoy it :)  
Holidays is over tomorrow and that means school *sigh*. But I'll still try to post as often as I can :3  
Don't forget to review! :D**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Yay I finally had a spare moment to write xD  
I'd also like to say that the newest episode of South Park gave me some inspiration for this chapter. Those of you who've seen it will know what part I mean :3**

"Who are you and what have you done with Cartman?" I hissed.  
The person in front of me can't be the real Cartman. I _know_ Cartman, a lot more than I'd like to admit. You can't hate someone your whole life without getting to know a lot about them. For instance, Cartman's voice. After constantly hearing that voice every day for years, I knew that thick accent by heart. It wasn't quite Texan and wasn't quite Redneck but a mixture of both, I'd know that voice anywhere.

"It's me, _Cartman,_ you're even crazier than usual you stupid Jew" he objected his accent returning.  
But it still wasn't his voice, sure it was _Cartman's _voice but it was _different_. This was a slightly butchered version, like when we joke around and do his impression. No one can ever get it exactly right. I couldn't push the feeling in my gut away; there was something very wrong here.

"I'm not an idiot. Are you someone in a mask? A clone? Some kind of evil twin?" I accused him.  
He scoffed, "Now you're just sounding stupid, Kahl. Go home, I'm serious."  
I glared at him silently, trying to find any possible evidence that this wasn't Cartman. But the more I looked the more I couldn't deny that this, in fact, _was_ Cartman. There was no difference in height, no change in his hair or skin, even his body shape was the exact same. His thick form covered in muscle, not one slight shaping that would even slightly suggest it was a disguise.

After a moment I gave a sigh of defeat. The boy in front of me was definitely Cartman, and I didn't have any evidence proving otherwise. Hesitantly I began turning away, knowing any further attempts were useless.  
"No Kahl, please you have to help me!" Cartman screamed suddenly. It was _his_ voice. _The real one_. I whipped around to see Cartman with his hands clamped over his mouth, wide-eyed a startled expression on his face.

"Cartman? Are you in there?" I asked curiously.  
"Ha you fell for it you stupid Jew. Like I'd want _your_ help. I'm just messing with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm sick of looking at your ugly Jew face" he growled in that fake accent once more and he rushed inside, anxiously slamming the door behind him.  
Ugly Jew face huh? He'd obviously forgotten he was supposed to be 'in love with me'. I knew that'd been a ploy, as if Cartman the homophobe would be gay!

I chastised myself, I couldn't think about that right now. There were bigger issues going on. What the heck had that been about? There was no doubt in my mind now that had been an imposter. It may be Cartman's body but that was definitely not Cartman. I also knew Cartman was somehow in there too. It was definitely the real Cartman who'd called for help. Wow it _must_ be serious for the Fatass to ask for _my _help. But help from what? I didn't even know how any of this was possible, let alone how to deal with it.

I pulled out my phone and began to call Stan. I had to tell him about my suspicions, maybe he could even give me some insight. After several rings the phone went to message bank.  
"Hey you've reached Stan, I'm probably at football or hanging with Wendy right now-"  
I cut off the message angrily. _Wendy_, I couldn't help the scowl appear on my face. He's always with that, that _girl_. I sighed miserably. Wendy's a nice girl I had to admit it; in other circumstances I could actually see us being friends. But that wasn't gonna happen, not while she was all over Stan. _My_ Stan.

Yeah I admit it; I've got the hots for my Super Best Friend. Sure I've known I was gay for a long time, I've just never seen the point in coming out. Besides my parents would only freak out and send me to some camp for 'confused' kids. We've all heard the stories from Butters, most of the kids end up killing themselves. _Nope_, I wasn't coming out any time soon. I sighed, knowing there was no point in coming out anyway. Stan was literally the straightest guy I know. He'd never go for me and I'd only ruin our friendship.

_Focus. _ You need to figure out what's wrong with Cartman!  
_Why?_ I suddenly asked myself. I mean, why do I even wanna help that asshole? What has he ever done for me? I knew they were all pretty valid points but for some reason I couldn't help but care. My mind flashed back to the desperation in his voice as he'd called for my help. I'd never heard Cartman so sincere. The way he'd said my name with so much feeling, it gave me chills. Wait…where did that come from? I shook my head to clear away any lingering weird thoughts.

Look, I told myself firmly. The only reason I'm helping that asshole is because it's the right thing to do. _Nothing else. _I focussed my thoughts on the problem at hand. I had no idea what was even _wrong_ with Cartman. Maybe it was a multiple personality disorder? No Cartman's too big of a personality to have another one. Besides, somehow this didn't seem normal. I hated to say it, considering I'm a huge sceptic…but it seemed paranormal. I might have to go to a professional.

"…I didn't know who else to turn to, you always seem to know about this kind of stuff. You know, paranormal stuff that can't be explained. So what do you think?" Kyle finished his story and waited anxiously for a reply.  
The old farmer nodded processing what Kyle had told him.  
"Sounds like you got a ghost problem" the old man said adjusting his straw hat, "Yawp, a lot folks been possessed in my day. In this very town, no less. They say this town's built on an Indian burial ground, you' know. Yawp, those Indian's didn't take kindly to our folk. Possessed damn near everyone in sight. Couldn't walk down to the grocery store without coming head to head with an angry Indian poltergeist. Why, my own father was possessed once. Killed the neighbour, he did. Yawp, lot of possessions in this town."

"You think Cartman's possessed by an Indian?" Kyle said sceptically.  
"Oh nah boy, we got rid of those pest years ago. Nope you're looking at a new ghost, probably someone close to him. Yawp, it's always the friends and family who they tend to cling to. Can't trust anyone, you can't."  
My eyes widened as his words sunk in.  
Then I jumped up from my seat determinedly "I know who it is!"

**Ok guys there you go :3  
Don't forget to review :D**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Sorry for taking so long to update, you know the deal; Work, school, the usual. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :3**

I quickly shut the door behind me in panic. What the hell? How had Cartman taken control? It was only for a moment but it was enough for him to call out to Kyle. This was not good. I could feel Cartman's soul stirring in the depths of his mind, fighting for escape encouraged by his newfound control. Only this time he was succeeding, I could feel it. The power I had over his body was fading, the mental walls blocking him inside were crumbling down. The potion must be wearing off, I realised suddenly.

My previous panic went away. This was what I'd been waiting for, I'd known my time in this body would come to an end. Afterall I was satisfied with my revenge, I was ready to return. Whether I would return to hell or to my new awaiting body I wasn't sure. Damien had never explained how this was going to work. He only told me how to possess Cartman, the end part had never been discussed. My thoughts broke away as I felt Cartman break free. To my surprise nothing changed. I was still in Cartman's body and saw everything through his eyes. The only difference was that now _he_ was in control.  
"Yes! I'm free! Screw you, Kinneh! Noone beats Eric Cartman. Noone!" Cartman cried out loud jumping for joy relishing being in control of his body once more.

This isn't right. I shouldn't still be in Cartman's body, the potion wore off! It was in that moment I remembered exactly what Damien had said. The potion was never to make me possess Cartman, it had only increased my powers so that I was in full control. So this means I'm stuck inside Cartman again, as if the last time hadn't been bad enough!  
_Oh trust me Kinneh, this time is going to be much worse. I'm going to make sure you pay for everything you did to me today. Just you wait!_

The next day at school Cartman wasn't even worried. He'd managed to calm his mother down and hadn't even been punished. To be honest I wasn't surprised, she'd always been a pushover when it came to Cartman. But what _really_ surprised me was the fact that he managed to get away with all the punishment at school as well. He managed to spin some sob story about how he was acting out to express his grief over my death. _My_ death, that bastard was using _me_ as an excuse to cancel out half my revenge!

It was infuriating seeing my revenge plans fail first-hand. I had to tolerate all those sympathetic faces as they bought his bullshit; hook, line and sinker. The worst part was, apart from Cartman's fake grief, noone else seemed to be mourning me. Sure Kyle and Stan had seemed upset when I'd pulled the trigger, but it had been one day and they were acting as if everything was normal. I mean sure yeah I die all the time so in the end it doesn't really matter but _come on_. Is a little bit of sorrow too much to ask for?

Cartman waltzed into class like he was fricking untouchable. Mr Garrison glared at him but said nothing. All the students stared at him and some of them whispered. Obviously his actions yesterday were still big news. Mr Mackay followed him inside the classroom as Cartman took his seat.  
He stood in front of the class and began to speak. "Alright children, I know many of you witnessed the events yesterday concerning the school speakers and the fire alarm, mkay. Now I want you all to know that Eric was suffering a great loss and wasn't aware of his actions. So I want you all to be considerate of him and not mention any of it again, mkay?"  
The kids looked sceptical but gave a nod. Everyone knew Cartman was a heartless asshole who couldn't care less about anyone's death, let alone _mine_.

The rest of the lesson dragged out agonisingly slow. Even though I wasn't actually technically the one in class, Mr Garrison was still boring as hell. I continued my attempts to break free from Cartman's mind but it was no use. I was trapped. I didn't pay much attention to the lesson, neither did Cartman. He was busy noticing that Kyle kept glancing at him suspiciously all lesson. I wasn't surprised, likely he still thought Cartman wasn't himself and was still trying to figure out what's going on.

The bell for lunch rang and I felt the familiar relief at the sound even though I wasn't the one actually in class. Cartman eagerly left his seat and headed for the door but he was stopped in his tracks. I was surprised to see not Kyle but Butters standing in front of him.  
"Hi Eric," Butters looks down nervously, rubbing his knuckles together, "I just wanted to give my condolences to the person you lost. You must have been really close to them for you to act that way yesterday"  
I felt my heart break. Butters didn't know. He mustn't have heard that I died yesterday. How had he not heard? Was my death really that unimportant? Or had people subconsciously realised it was no big deal anymore?

I felt Cartman give him a devious smirk and I realised our roles had been switched, now he had full access to _my_ thoughts. Especially the ones about Butters.  
_No, Cartman don't. _I begged him but he ignored me.  
"Didn't you hear? Kenny's dead" Cartman sneered, "He blew his head off yesterday"  
Butters eyes opened wide and he stepped back in shock as if Cartman had physically hit him.  
"No, she can't be" he whispered not even bothering to cover up the _she_ slip up.  
"Yep, such a shame. I wonder what could have caused him to become suicidal. Maybe someone found out something about him they shouldn't have. Made him go a little insane. Man I'd feel bad if I was that person" Cartman continued staring seriously at him visually planting the seeds of doubt in Butter's mind. Butters slowly shook his head covering his ears. Tears began to flow down his cheeks and he turned from Cartman and fled. I felt the urge to call out for him but I knew it was no use. I had no control anymore, I was the prisoner.  
_You son of a bitch! You know how fragile Butters is. He was trying to do a nice thing for you even though you constantly torture him. Couldn't you just leave him alone!_ I yelled at him furiously.  
_Oh but you see Kinneh, this wasn't about Butters at all. That was to punish _you_, _Cartman hissed coolly, _this is only the beginning._

Before Cartman could leave he was stopped for a second time.  
"Oh for god sakes can't a guy leave the classroom in peace?" he grumbled as he glared at Kyle. The classroom was empty except for the two of them now.  
"I know it's you Kenny" Kyle insisted, "Why are you possessing Cartman?"  
"Bravo Kahl, you figured it out. But you see, I've already taken care of the situation. I'm back…but you can already tell right? Who knew the little Jew knew my voice so well? I'd say I'm flattered but I'm not" Cartman sneered crossing his arms indifferently. Kyle's eyes narrowed.  
"That's definitely you, fatass." He grumbled, "What happened to Kenny?"  
"Don't you worry your pretty little Jew head, Kahl. I've got everything sorted" Cartman assured him patting the shorter boy on the head before pushing his way out the classroom. I could feel Kyle's suspicious stare follow him all the way out the classroom and I knew Cartman loved every second of it.

**Ok guys enjoy. Don't forget to review :3**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Author's Note- Ok first of all I'm soooooo sorry for taking so long. I seriously have been overloaded with work/school/social obligations and could not bring myself to do anything but sleep in my free time. I've had this chapter planned in my head for weeks and I finally have a moment to sit down and type it. Hopefully it's worth the wait and you guys aren't totally mad at me :P  
Also a fan of this story with the Username****KennyMcCormickFTW****made a fanart on deviantart for this story. I can't describe how happy it makes me to know people actually enjoy this story enough to make FANART! :D  
I'm aware links don't work well on here so this probabaly won't work. But just in case, here's****the link****if you guys wanna check it out ****kennymccormickftw . deviantart****(.com)/gallery/#/d5nlhb0(no spaces)**

It had been two full days since Kenny had disappeared from Damien's room. I could still remember the shock I felt when Kenny faded from his position on the tiled floor. Damien didn't even bat an eye at the sight, he had just shrugged and went back to his normal routine as if nothing happened.  
In the present, Damien sat on his bed pouring over his pile of old scrolls; occasionally scribbling notes down and muttering in a language I wasn't able to understand. I always found it amusing that even the son of Satan had his own form of homework. Being dead had its advantages in this case I guess, although I never quite minded homework when I was alive.  
"Damien?" I pipe up suddenly. He stops his work and looks at me in his usual annoyed glare.  
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" he snaps. His tone didn't discourage me, this was how Damien was and I had grown accustomed to it. Every now and then I'd even see a glimpse of a softer side, but those moments were rare and gone so quickly I found myself wondering if I was fooling myself.  
"Shouldn't Kenny be back by now? Aren't you worried?" I asked anxiously. Even though I had never known Kenny well in my living days, I knew Damien was fairly close to her. After years of hiding while she was here, watching from the crack in the door, I couldn't help but notice how comfortable Damien acted around her. They were both immortal afterall, Kenny was the closest Damien had to an equal. I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. It took years for him to open up around me and most of that time was spent basically ignoring my existence or yelling at me.  
"The Prince of Darkness does not _worry_" he scoffed, "Besides why should I care what happens to her? "  
"Because she's your _friend._" I insisted. He scowled and opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted him.  
"I know, I know. 'The Prince of Darkness doesn't have _friends'"_I mimicked his accent and his deep voice exasperatedly.  
Damien''s lips twitched slightly in the beginnings of a smirk but he caught himself quickly and instead replied casually "She's most likely stuck in that Cartman boy's body anyway. I forgot to tell her how to escape before she left."  
"What!? And you're just going to leave her in there? Surely you must realise what an asshole Eric Cartman is! You must trust me, he was one of my main tormentors in my lifetime" I cried horrified.  
"So what? It's not my problem" Damien argued.  
I just crossed my arms and glared at him sternly. He looked at me defiantly for a few moments and when I turned to give him the cold shoulder he sighed in defeat.  
"_Fine_I'll go_,_but _only_because Kenny is immortal and may be of use to me someday… now stop frowning, it doesn't suit you." He grumbled packing up his scrolls.  
"Oh can I go? Please Damien? It's been ever so long since I've seen earth" I desperately begged, jumping in excitement.  
"You idiot, my father doesn't just let souls out without his permission and he'll never grant me that kind of responsibility. Plus there's no way we'd be able to sneak you past the guards" he objected.  
"Maybe there _is_ a way!" I remarked, my eyes sparkling as the idea hit me.

Today was my funeral. It wasn't the first one, of course, but it was the first one I'd ever _seen_ for myself. It was both disturbing and intriguing at the same time. I felt like an intruder, as if I was some sort of peeping Tom, watching these people mourn my death without them even knowing I was here. My family's grief hit me hard, Karen clung to my older brother sobbing and he held her comfortingly trying not to break into tears himself. My mother was much the same, bawling in my father's arms. "What if she's never coming back? What if the miscarriage was a sign? It's been 2 days!" I caught a few snippets of my mother's hysterical hissing as Cartman walked by my casket to place a rose. I had the urge to rip the rose from my casket, but knew that I had no such control. Cartman's willpower was much stronger than it was when we were younger, I couldn't even take over to speak like last time.  
_"Can't you at least let my family know I'm okay? I hate seeing Mum like this."_ I begged him, anticipating his reply and knowing that it would be useless to attempt to reason with Cartman.  
"_Now why would I do that? That would be giving you mercy. I don't remember receiving any from you when I begged"_Cartman hissed back. I mentally scowled.  
As the ceremony began, I tried to listen to what the priest had to say but Cartman was tuning it out. For god's sake, the _least_ he could do was pay attention at one of his friend's funerals!  
_"Ay! You know how many of these stupid things I've been to for you? Too many to listen to the same gay ass speech over and over!"_Cartman defended angrily.  
I couldn't really argue with that but it only served to remind me of how long he'd known about my curse without telling me. I tried not to start another fight though, arguing was useless with Cartman, even without access to my mind he would always have a counterargument to anything I'd say. The bastard always had a knack at manipulation.  
_"Thank you, it's a gift"_Cartman said proudly, I could feel him mentally smirking even though his outside expression was a fake sombre.  
Cartman surveyed the crowd uninterestedly, I scanned all the familiar faces. Certain face stood out above the rest, I willed Cartman to pause and to my surprise, he did. I was left unsure as to whether it was by his choice or mine. Either way, Cartman continued looking in the direction without complaint. It was Butters, his face tear streaked and dressed in a dark suit. His parents were beside him; I assumed they only came out of respect for my own parents or Butters. He looked so hurt, I felt my heart ache. I know he must still partly blame himself, if not entirely, for my death after what Eric said to him. It was rough seeing both my parents and Butters like this. Watching them suffering, knowing I couldn't let them know I was ok.  
_"Enough staring at your boyfriend"_Cartman complained as he forcefully yanked back control and moved his gaze further down the row. Cartman's eyes settled on a pair of familiar green orbs; their gaze connected as Cartman realised Kyle was glaring at him.

Cartman finally noticed me and instead of looking away I held my gaze. I wanted him to _know_ that I was onto him. I _know_ he's up to something, but exactly _what_ he was up to…well I hadn't entirely figured out yet.  
"What's wrong with you, man? You've been staring at Cartman ever since you got here" Stan's voice startled me and I snapped my head beside me in its direction. I began to wonder how long he had been sitting there, I hadn't even noticed him arrive.  
"Nothing, I'm just a little pissed off at him. Nothing new" I said trying to shrug it off. I wasn't going to drag Stan into something when I wasn't even sure what _it_ was.  
"Don't give me that crap. Both you _and_ Cartman have been acting strangely even since Kenny died. I mean did you _hear_Cartman on the speaker the other day? Seriously, I know it's hard but Kenny wouldn't have wanted you guys to lose it because of him" Stan whispered considerately.  
"Thanks Stan, I think we're both just a little shaken up after Kenny's…accident" I assured him, smiling softly. Stan was always the one with the biggest heart out of all of us. No matter what he was always there, that's one of the reasons why he's my best friend. But right now I honestly couldn't describe what was going on. Hell I wasn't even sure myself! According to the old man there may be ghosts involved, but I couldn't really believe that…could I? No, no way, I mean it was insane. There are _no_ such things as ghosts.

Once the funeral was over I decided to take the long way home rather than catch a lift with Stan. I needed time to think and I tend to think better when I'm alone. Being at Kenny's funeral felt strange, it was surreal. It didn't _feel_like a funeral, and it certainly didn't _feel_like Kenny was dead. It's probably the stupid ghost story getting into my mind, but I couldn't help feeling like Kenny wasn't really gone. But if he wasn't gone then where was he? For god's sakes, I saw him shoot himself right in front of me, there's no way that he could still be alive. But what then? Could he really be a ghost?  
I sound ridiculous, infact this _whole situation_ is ridiculous. I should be mourning my friend, not trying to make up reason's for him to be still around. Could it be that Cartman really _was_ messing around? _No._ I remember his voice when he called out for help. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice, it was the most serious and genuine plea that I'd ever seen from Cartman in my life. But if he wasn't joking then what-  
My thoughts cut off as I saw a figure walk out from an alley. He was dressed all in black with matching jet black hair and a red cross on his neck. Wait that's not a cross…No way!  
"Damien?" I gasp in disbelief jogging up to get a better look at him. He looked about the right age and who _else_ would have an upside-down crucifix on their neck? Maybe one of the goth kids but I went with my gut instinct and assumed it was him.  
Damien's gaze drifted towards me, his eyes lighting up in recognition. However when he spoke I was taken aback, as the voice was nothing like I remembered nor did it match his brutal exterior at all.  
"Oh my Kyle Brofloski! Oh it's been absolutely ages, it's fantastic to see you!" merry British voice escaped his mouth prompting me to raise an eyebrow.  
Damien's face twisted in a scowl. "You idiot! I told you this would only work if you stayed quiet!"  
This time his voice was low and harsh, the previous jolly accent gone. He didn't appear to be speaking to me, but then it was clear that nobody else was present.  
I choked out a reply uncertainly "E-Excuse me?"  
"Oh he's not talking to you, Kyle. It's me, Pip!" Damien cried out in that odd merry voice again.  
"Pip?" I cried in disbelief, "But he's dead!"  
"Now you've done it, I'll have to kill him now. Damn you, I promised father I wouldn't kill in daylight anymore...Oh well" Damien scowled, his hand lighting up in flames.  
His face twisted into an eager smirk as he raised his arm. I cowered in fear at the sudden display of Damien's powers.  
"No!" Damien, or Pip I suppose, screamed in horror. "Wait! Kyle is one of Kenny's mates, maybe he can help us!"  
"Fine", Damien replied with a disappointed sigh as the flames dispersed.  
A look of complete confusion and concern covered my face as I feared Damien's current sanity, although perhaps it was my _own_ sanity I should be questioning.  
"Would someone mind telling me what the hell is going on!?" I demanded frantically.  
Damien grumbled exasperatedly and began marching forward "Come on, I'm not going to risk anymore _humans_ discovering us. Besides this could take a while, it's a _long_ story''

**Ok guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a pretty long one, hope it makes up for the long absence. Please remember to review! It's how I know there's actually people reading and that I should continue xD **


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Hey guys, once again sorry about****the wait****. It's year 12 now so I'm gonna be pretty busy, but I hope I can squeeze in a chapter or two every now and then :3  
Anyway on to the long awaited chapter :D**

**Kyle POV  
**I looked at Damien utterly speechless at what he had just told me. It was absolutely crazy, all of it. How the hell could Kenny be some kind of 'immortal' and we not know about it? We've known the guy since kindergarten for god sakes!  
"This is insane, do you really expect me to believe any of this?" I spat in disbelief.  
Damien gave an exasperated sigh, obviously too arrogant to deal with my petty human opinions. "You know, you humans really frustrate me. You have so many double standards! Someone can have full faith in God and life after death but the moment someone mentions ghosts or demons, they scoff demanding it's nonsense. Even you, you've seen my powers with your own eyes. You have spoken to even Jesus himself, you know that immortals do truly exist. Yet you dare to think I wouldn't know the difference between my own kind and a mere mortal."  
"Even if you're right and Kenny _is_ an immortal, why would Cartman have anything to do with it?" Kyle insists frantically.  
"Well I think I can explain that," Pip's jolly English accent escapes Damien's mouth, surprising Kyle who had forgotten he was even there, "you see old chap, there's a thing called a shadow bond. Every immortal is bonded to a certain human when they're born. This human is referred to as the immortal's host. The host then serves as a vessel, a power source if you will, for the immortal-"  
"Shut up, you Frenchy twit! These are serious immortal legacies that you're just throwing away to a human!" Damien cut Pip off fiercely.  
Kyle looked confused, still not fully understanding, "So what does Cartman have to do with it?"  
"You insolent fool, don't you see! Humans are so dense. Cartman is _Kenny's_ host!" Damien snarled, his frustration evident on his face.  
"What?" Kyle choked out in disbelief, "but Cartman's-"  
"A complete douche, we're aware." Damien growled through clenched teeth, "That is why it is imperative that we get Kenny out of Cartman as soon as possible. Kenny knows secrets, dark immortal secrets, that I would not wish to be in the hands of that psychopath. When an immortal and a host are in the same body they also share the mind, meaning that Cartman has as much access to Kenny's mind as Kenny to his."  
"Kenny's also your _friend_ Damien like it or not, we have to save he- I mean him" Pip reminded Damien.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever," Damien grumbled, "so do you know where Cartman is or are you really as useless as you seem?"  
Kyle scowled at him before replying, "_Yes_ I know where that asshole is. He's at Kenny's funeral reception."  
"Why aren't you there?" Pip spoke up again, Damien scowled but chose to stay silent this time, knowing yelling at Pip again was futile. Nothing would keep Pip quiet permanently, not even the Son of Satan.  
Kyle looks guilty and stares at the ground, with a shrug he replies softly, "I can't stand those kinds of things, there's too much sadness in one room. It's as if I can feel the sadness around me. His funeral was bad enough."  
Damien looks sympathetic and Kyle knows it must be Pip's expression. The British boy had always been the most kind-hearted soul Kyle knew in his childhood, even to his tormentors, "I understand. Empathy is a great trait to carry Kyle, remember that."  
Pip's sympathetic smile was soon replaced once again by Damien's scowl, "Enough of this! We're wasting time."  
Damien starts marching determinedly down the road, while Kyle still stands in his spot watching him curiously. After a moment Damien turns to Kyle impatiently, "Well, are you coming or not?"

**Mrs McCormick POV  
**The reception was quiet as the many faces in the room turned to the stage. Where I stood, trying to hold back more tears. My eyes were raw, I had cried too much in the last 3 days. I swallowed attempting to clear the lump in my throat, "Thank you all so much for being here, I know if Kenny saw how many faces were here today he would have been grateful."  
The word "he" tasted sour in my mouth. Even in death, _true death_, I couldn't even reveal my daughter's for who she truly was. But I knew she would have wanted it that way. She lived a boy and she would want to die a boy.  
The countless pairs of eyes in the room stared, as if into my very core, urging me to continue. But what could I say? That this wasn't the first time I had recited my daughter's eulogy? That I never thought the day would actually come when she might actually be gone forever? That her life was a constant torment of suffering all because of a choice I made many years ago? That I had literally sold her soul for the hope of some cheap alcohol? However, I knew I could say none of these, although the guilt plagued me.  
"I know Kenny's father and I weren't always the best parents, but Kenny never complained. He was always cheerful, eager to live his days to the fullest while he could. Many would describe Kenny as a risk-taker, nothing no matter how daunting seemed to faze him."  
I turned and my eyes scanned the crowd searching for the youthful faces of Kenny's best friends.  
"I remember Kenny's first day of school well. He rushed home to tell me about three young boys he'd met. These boys, Kyle Broflovski , Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman were always a major part of my son's life. Thank you boys for everything you did for my little boy, without you I don't think Kenny would have been able to cope. Life was unusually hard for a kid his age, but Kenny pulled through. Kenny is a fighter. I just know that if there's any way for him to pull through this, he will."  
There was a rumble of nervous murmurs through the crowd at my last sentence. I knew it sounded insane but I couldn't help it. There's no way I can fully accept that Kenny is gone, she'll come back. She always comes back…

**Cartman POV  
**I could feel Kenny's heart break at her mother's speech.  
_"Please can you at least tell her I'm ok, that I'm not really dead?" _Kenny pleaded desperately_.  
"But you are dead," _I reminded her with a mental smirk.  
_"You heartless Bastard" _she spat venomously. She was broken, I could feel it. It was like every moment more she spent trapped in the depths of my mind meant she lost a little more of her will to fight. Good, I thought, I couldn't have any interruptions now. This was my moment. It was finally time for revenge. I hastily replaced Kenny's mother's place on stage as she solemnly slunk down the platform stairs.  
I gave her a sarcastic clap, "Yeah, woo! Great speech Mrs McCormick!"  
I grabbed the microphone and looked to the crowd, feeling like a stand-up comedian.  
"So how'd everybody feeling? Hungry I bet, geez I know you guys are poor but would it kill you to get a buffet? Although I guess you guys couldn't really afford another funeral. Am I right?"  
Nobody laughed, I felt their stares, many in disbelief and others stared daggers. But I didn't care one bit. This moment wasn't about their approval, it was about making Kenny suffer.  
"Wow tough crowd, geez who died? Oh right" a satisfied chuckle escaped my lips. I'm not above laughing at my own jokes, afterall I'm hilarious.  
"So, I guess you guys are wondering what I'm doing up here. Well don't worry, I _am_ here to talk about Kenny. In fact, I think I might know Kenny even better than any of you; maybe even more than his parents!" I informed them calmly. I could feel the tension in the room, a few people look to Kenny's parents obviously wondering if they'd call security. Tough luck, I already checked and the McCormick's couldn't even afford security. Lucky me, I guess.  
"So…who wants to hear a secret?"

**Stan POV  
**The eulogies were dragging on, someone new stepped up but I didn't pay attention. Their voice droned in the background of my mind, I was too caught up in my head to listen. My mind was filled with thoughts of Kenny. It was unbelievable to think he was really gone. Only 3 days ago he was alive, talking to me. How can something like this happen so suddenly, to someone so young? It wasn't fair, why him?  
I felt myself looking once again through the crowd for Kyle. I couldn't help the worry course through me. Where was he? He wouldn't just skip one of his best friend's funeral receptions, would he? Kyle had been acting weird ever since Kenny died. Actually both my lasting friends had been acting strangely since Kenny's death. I understand their grief but they needed to get a hold of themselves before their recent erratic behaviour began to affect their entire lives.  
It was then that I noticed soft whispers coursing through the crowd. "What's he doing?" "What's going on?" "What kind of lunatic ruins a funeral reception?"  
My head snapped to the front and I realised to my horror that Cartman, of all people, was on stage.  
"So…who wants to hear a secret?" he said with a wide maniacal grin.  
There was a loud bang as a door burst open at the back of the room.  
"Stop right there, Fatass!" Kyle's voice rang through the eerily silent room. All whispers had stopped, all eyes planted on the newcomer in shock.  
Kyle stood at the door, still dressed in the suit he wore to the funeral. Beside him was a lanky teenage boy, dressed all in black with charcoal hair. The only colour on him was his pale white skin andthe striking blood red upside-down cross hanging from his neck.  
"This has nothing to do with you, Jew! Run back home to your Jew-rat hole where you belong!" Cartman commanded from the stage.  
The boy beside Kyle stirred, his shadow began to expand, engulfing the room in its dark embrace. The lights went out. He spoke with a voice that held great power and authority, "I am the Son of Satan. If this room is not empty by the time I count to three, I will burn this place to the ground along with everyone in it! One..."  
At the sounding of the first number, his left hand set aflame. The crackling ember glow was the only source of light to be found in the room now. "Two" His other hand lit. The collected light from his hands lit up his face menacingly. Before he could hit three, the room became a crowd of stampeding townsfolk. All were rushing towards the door in a terrified frenzy.  
Soon the room was empty except for Cartman, Kyle, the mysterious boy and I.  
"Did you really have to do that Damien?" Kyle sighed with a shake of his head. Damien didn't reply, he was focussed on Cartman.  
"I'm here for Kenny. If you'd kindly release him then I won't burn you to a crisp like the pig you are," Damien said in an ominously cool tone, walking towards him determinedly.  
I immediately rushed to Kyle's side, grabbing his arm desperately, "Would you mind telling me what the hell is going on? Why the heck is Damien back and why were you with him instead of attending your best friend's funeral reception!"  
"Not now Stan! This is so much more complicated than that, I can't explain right now. You just have to trust me!" Kyle insists, looking at me desperately.  
Before I could answer I was cut off by a loud chanting behind me.  
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica..." Damien held up his necklace towards Cartman. Cartman crumbled to the ground, keeling over in pain as if Damien's words were causing a fire to burn throughout his body. "...Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica..." Cartman cried out in pain and I stepped forward to help him. He may be a douche but I wasn't going to stand by and watch him die. To my surprise, Kyle grabbed my arm to stop me.  
I looked at him in disbelief, "What are you doing? We can't just let him do this. I know you hate him Kyle but this isn't right. It's inhuman!"  
"_Trust me"_ Kyle said again, his eyes pleading.  
"... Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!" Damien's chanting got louder and louder, Cartman's groaned in agony and his body began to shake as if he was having a fit. Suddenly an orb of blue light exploded out of Cartman. His shakes stopped and he lay motionless on the floor appearing to have passed out from the pain. The light escaped the room, phasing through the wall in a blur quicker than my eyes could follow.  
"Was that him? Is he free?" Kyle asked Damien hopefully.  
"Yeah, he's probably gone to a new body. He's long overdue," Damien said panting, the exorcism seemed to have taken a lot of strength.  
"What the hell just happened? What is Damien doing here? What _was_ that? And why-" my rant of frantic questions were cut off by the sound of a chair being knocked to the floor.  
"Oh hamburgers" the culprit of the sound murmured.  
All three of us whipped around to see Butters looking at us nervously. He glanced sheepishly at the chair which he'd obviously accidentally knocked over.  
"Butters!? How long have you been here?" Kyle gasped.  
"I-I never left. I couldn't leave Kenny's funeral reception, not for anyone. Kenny deserved that" he insisted, looking surprisingly determined compared to his usual nervous nature.  
"We have bigger problems than this puny human" Damien said suddenly.  
I looked to where Damien was behind me, no longer focussed on Butters. Damien was glaring grimly at the empty stage. I heard Kyle gasp. With a stressed frown, Damien uttered the words we were all thinking.  
"He's gone."

**Ok well this was the longest chapter I've done in quite a while. I hope it makes up for my absence. Also I would love to hear your reviews, it honestly makes my day and only takes a minute or so! :D**


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Mrs McCormick's POV**

I woke with the familiar pain that filled me with both fear and joy. I gripped my stomach and gritted my teeth as I hastily shook my husband awake.  
"It's happening again!" I groaned.  
Once it was over, I looked down at the parka wrapped baby in my arms lovingly. I have to admit that each time hurts just as much as the first birth. But I'd gladly welcome the pain any day to bring back my darling baby girl. The happiness I feel as I hold her in my arms again is indescribable. I had begun to think she would never return.  
But I can never show it. Not to Kenny. If she ever found out that we knew of her curse…she would never forgive us. No, I have to stay as I always do. Act oblivious. I can't tell her I missed her, or that we love her very much. She can't become suspicious. I can't let that happen.  
"I hope you know how sorry I am, how sorry both of us are, for doing this to you. I know if you knew about all this you'd probably hate me. I wouldn't blame you. But Mommy loves you very much. I hope you know that," I kiss the baby's forehead and set her down in her bed like always.

**Noone's POV  
** "Well my work here is done," Damien says calmly and he turns for the exit.  
"Wait!" Kyle calls out urgently, "You can't just leave us here. Cartman's gone!"  
"So? What do you care? The asshole could be dead for all I care" Damien chuckled darkly.  
"We should still at least look for him," Kyle insisted.  
"Hold it, I _still_ haven't been told what's even going on yet!" Stan argued.  
"Y-yeah w-what was that? What did you do to Eric?" Butters stuttered nervously.  
"I was saving your friend" Damien sighed impatiently.  
"Saving him how? You almost killed him!" Stan accused.  
"Not him, you idiot. I was saving Kenny!" Damien hissed.  
"Kenny? S-she's alive?" Butters gasped.  
'_She_!?" Stan and Kyle choke out at the same time.  
"Oh hamburgers" Butters murmured covering his mouth as if he could take back his slip-up.  
"I don't have time for this. You humans know so little about your "so called" friend. If you have any questions pester her. I've done what I came here to do. Now I want to go home."  
"But Damien, you said the curse wipes our memories. We won't remember any of this when we see her!" Kyle insists.  
"You three don't have to worry about that, you were with me. Her powers don't affect me. My powers are stronger than her petty lower class immortal parlour tricks," Damien scoffed.  
"But Damien, I thought you said you and Kenny were the same level. You said you're only powerful because you're Satan's son," Pip's innocent voice piped up suddenly.  
"Shut up you fool!" Damien exclaimed, looking embarrassed.  
"Stop yelling at me, you and I both know you're just doing it to look tough in front of them," Pip said in a whine. Damien looked frustrated.  
"Oh for the love of Satan, can we not do this here." Damien hissed.  
"I won't let it go until you apologize," Pip pouted.  
"_I'm _sorry_" _Damien grumbled.  
"No, out loud" Pip insisted. Damien scowled.  
"_Fine, _I'm sorry_! _Now we're going home. No more fricking delaying_" _Damien snapped.  
As the anti-Christ and his host left, the other boys watched them curiously. They were surprised Pip's comfortable bickering with Damien. Here was their childhood punching bag with the anti-Christ wrapped around his finger. I guess, some things you never see coming.

**Cartman's POV**

"Ugh, where am I?" I groan at the dull throbbing in my head. My vision is blurred slightly and I shake my head to clear it. Big mistake, I wince as the sharp pain that pangs in my head. Slowly my eye sight clears and I manage to make out my surroundings. I'm in a dark alley, a large dumpster covers me from the street to my left and there's a dead-end to my right. I look up at the dark cloud covered sky, looks like rain soon. Suddenly it all comes back to me, Kenny, the reception, the Jew and that anti-Christ fag. What did he _do _to me? I remember him chanting some gibberish and then I was doubling over in pain. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. No…I felt like my _soul_ was being ripped out. But it wasn't _my _soul he was taking, it was Kenny's.

The pain was almost enough to knock me out. I think I _was_ for a few seconds. But I managed to stumble to my feet. Lucky for me those idiots were too busy with that pussy Butters to notice me sneak out. I made it as far as I could before exhaustion forced me to stop. My body was so weak from the exorcism, it was a miracle I'd made it that far. I found the closest hiding place possible in case the others came after me, and gave in to the fatigue, collapsing in a heap.

I can't believe those assholes did that to me. I thought I was their friend! This is all that bitch, Kinneh's, fault! _Kinneh._ That reminds me, just before she was ripped out I remember something strange happening. It was as if, for just a moment, our minds connected. I knew everything she knew and she knew everything I knew. I still remember everything, every detail. About her deaths, her immortality, hell, heaven, the bond, everything! A dark ominous chuckle escaped my lips. Oh yes, I could work with this. Yes, this could be _very_ useful…

**Kenny's POV  
(The Next Day)  
**"Ugh, where am I?" I groan. I look around at the familiar surroundings of my room. I sit up suddenly as the realisation of where I am occurs to me.  
"I'm back" I gasp, "I'm back!"  
I jump up from my bed and jump around giggling hysterically. I stop suddenly as one thought fills my mind. I dash through my house, not even bothering to glance at my parents. It's not like they care if I'm here, they never remember my deaths anyway. All I care about right now is him. _Butters.  
_I barely even notice the rain pummel my skin as I make my way through the front door. A storm brews, its black clouds shrouding the town in cold, wet darkness. Yet I run. I run as fast as I can through the half-deserted town. Most of the town are in their homes, sheltered from the storm. No one is stupid enough to go outside in this weather. But I continue to run, I don't care how stupid I look. All I need is to see Butters, to make sure he still remembers. Still remembers who I really am. I can't have lost him. He was the only one who had accepted me as a girl, if this curse took that away…No, I can't think like that. I have to stay positive. He _needs_ to remember, he just _needs _to.

**Butter's POV**

My mind whirls with all the things I'd learned yesterday. Once Damien left Kyle explained all he knew about what was going on. I sat there dumbstruck taking it all in. Kenny was an immortal. How was this even possible? I mean I'd just found out she'd been lying about her gender all these years and now I find out she's been hiding even more secrets. How was I supposed to face her at school tomorrow knowing all this?  
A knock on the front door interrupted my thoughts. My parents weren't home so I was forced to travel downstairs and answer it.  
"Look this isn't exactly a good ti-" I begin as I open the door but the words catch themselves in my throat as I catch eye of the visitor on the doorstep. A soaking wet Kenny leans panting in exhaustion, as if she'd run a long way. At the sight of me her eyes light up as she pulls me into a tight hug. Her grip on me is desperate and I stumble inside pulling her with me as I close the door behind us. I can feel water dripping on me; from both her water soaked form and her tears dripping on my neck.  
"Kenny…are you ok?" I ask softly. She pulls back to look at me and I gently wipe a tear from her cheek.  
"Tell me you remember," she pleaded, "please just tell me you remember."  
"I remember, Kenny, I remember _everything_" I murmur softly.  
"Really? _Everything?" _her face lightened up in excitement; her big blue eyes stared into mine.

I averted my gaze unable to look at her hopeful expression any longer. I push her away, ending the hug and I see a flicker of hurt in her eyes at the action.  
"How could you lie to me, Kenny? To everyone? You've been lying about who you are your entire life. Even your gender."  
"Wait, _even _my gender? "she looked confused. "What else did I-"she gasped in realization.  
"You _know! _When did you? I mean _how_ did you?_" _she couldn't even finish her sentence.  
"It doesn't matter, what's important is I _know_. How am I supposed to trust someone after they've hidden so much of their life from me? I don't even know who you are anymore, Kenny. For god sakes, you're not even human!" I shouted at her. She stepped back in shock as if I'd slapped her; I immediately regretted my words.  
"Kenny I…" I murmur softly but I can't continue. I'm not even sure what to think anymore.

Suddenly Kenny's strangled cry escaped her mouth and she crumpled to the ground. At first I thought she was collapsing into tears at what I'd said. Just as I feel the overwhelming guilt about to hit me, I snapped to her side and realize there was something seriously wrong. She was gripping her chest and groaning in pain rocking side to side on the floor as if staying still was impossible. It reminded me of Cartman's earlier display at the reception. Tears of anguish began running down her cheeks and she looked at me helplessly, pleading for my help.

**A/N Ok guys I hope you liked it, gosh so much angst. Poor Kenny :(  
Just to let you guys know, after this fanfiction I'm thinking of doing a Coon and Friends fanfic. But I want Tweek to be part of the superheroes. Only problem is, I suck at character designs. I want Tweek to be suitably epic so if anyone likes to draw or would be interested in drawing a superhero design for Tweek then let me know! Please PM me for more details.  
Thanks for your time guys! Please don't forget to review, it makes my day! :D**


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Kenny's POV**

I felt as if my chest was on fire. The burning sensation coursed through my body and culminated in the one spot, my heart. I groaned in agony on the cold tiles of Butter's living room floor. He dropped down beside me, fear in his eyes.  
"Kenny! Are you ok?" Butter's shouted, his voice distressed. His hands hovered over me as if he was afraid touching me would only cause me more pain.  
"I-it hurts! God make it stop!" I shriek through gritted teeth.  
The burning turned into a searing torture against my heart. It was as if a scorching hot grip was squeezing my heart, forcing it to stop it beating. I could feel it, the slow stopping of my heart. With each excruciating beat it got closer and closer to its last. Then I felt it, the stopping of my heart. I appreciated the usual relief as the pain went away.  
"Kenny? Kenny!" Butter's voice echoed as if far away.  
I could not reply and I barely noticed as he began to shake my lifeless body in a panic. The familiar feeling of death consumed me; all too familiar, the cold motionless feeling of a dead heart in my chest. I braced myself for the blackness to overcome me, to take me to the awaiting afterlife.

But to my surprise, death didn't come. Instead the strangest thing happened…my heart began to beat again. I coughed and spluttered; gasping in lungful's of air, as the need to breathe returned to me.  
Relief flooded Butter's face, "Oh thank goodness."  
He reaches out, trying to comfort me, but I slap his hand away. Surprise flickers across his face as I leap from my position on the ground.  
"Don't touch me, just leave me alone!" I scream at him, running for the exit.  
I hear him call after me, "Kenny wait!"  
I slam the door behind me before he can follow, the rain pelting on my still soaked skin.

Tears run down my cheeks mixing with the rain. I don't look back, I just keep running. I don't stop until Butter's house is far behind me. I crumble to the path, huddling over and cradling my knees. My breathing is heavy from both the run and my fast-beating, startled heart. It was still recovering from its latest turmoil. What had just happened? It was as if I died. No I _did_ die. But somehow I came back, something stopped me from departing. It couldn't have been Cartman again, he was nowhere near there. The only person there was Butters.

Butters. Damn that asshole! How could he say those things? If there's anything I'm most self-conscious about it's my humanity. Then he goes and accuses me of being inhuman; _him_ of all people. The one person I'd opened up to the most. Yes I may not _technically_ be human, but what gives him the right to use that against me? Out of all the people in South Park I thought Butters would at least accept me for my immortality. He'd accepted my gender, why not this? It's not like my immortality makes me any less human. I'm still me! Why couldn't he see that?

**Stan's POV**

It felt strange returning to school on Monday. I felt like it had been months since everything had been normal. Now I felt like none of that had been real, I don't know what to think anymore. How could Kenny be keeping so much from us all this time? I mean, for god's sake, immortality? These kinds of things don't happen to regular people! Sometimes I feel like our town is cursed. This kind of thing only happens in South Park. Only in South Park you can find out that not only is one of your best friend's actually a girl, but an immortal as well.

I spot Kyle rifling through his locker and head over to join him.  
"Hey dude" he says casually, as he notices me arrive.  
"How can you be so calm? We just found out Kenny's a girl who can't die!" I snap at him anxiously. Kyle looks around nervously checking to see if anyone had heard.  
He leans in closer to whisper in a desperate hiss, "Not so loud! Do you want the whole school to know? This is obviously really important to Kenny, do you really want to be the douche who outed her out to the whole school?"  
"…No" I admit and sigh, "Why didn't she tell us? I mean, he's- I mean _she's_ our best friend. You don't just keep stuff like this to yourself."  
"Look you know what Damien said, the curse erased our memories. It probably even erased any memories of her _telling_ us too. It's not like she could help it" Kyle insists.  
"But what about the fact that she's a girl. I mean the least she could have done is tell us that" I whisper exasperatedly.  
"Kenny probably had her reasons. Besides, we've always known Kenny was a closed book. She's always had her secrets. We've always known there was something more to Kenny than she was showing, well this is it. It explains everything. Why she's so closed off. Why she disappears all the time. Hell it especially explains why sometimes she seems so wise, like she's seen things a kid shouldn't. Kenny has had to hide her real self from the world her whole life. Hiding her gender probably seemed like nothing new. Maybe she felt we wouldn't accept her as a girl. I mean you've seen how Cartman treats women. You think he would have let a girl hang out with us? No way. If anything, we now know Kenny better than ever" Kyle explains empathetically.  
I'm stunned for a moment, digesting what he's said. He's right, of course, he's always right.  
"And there you go with another one of your profound speeches. You understand how people feel better than even they do. It's as if you're inside their head. God, you should be a psychiatrist man."  
"It's a blessing and a curse, trust me" he sighs.

We're silent for a moment, both wondering the same question. Finally I say it, "So…are we going to tell her we know?"  
"I don't know. Think about it. She's just been trapped in an asshole like Cartman for days. Then she comes back only to find out her best friends know all about her immortality, after so long of not being able to tell anyone. Then she also finds out we know she's a girl too. It'd be a little overwhelming, don't you think?" Kyle advises.  
Once again, he makes perfect sense. I don't want Kenny to have a breakdown or anything. I mean I may be a little mad that she lied to us, but that doesn't mean I want her to come to any harm.  
"Alright, so we don't tell her" I agree.  
"Don't tell who what?" a voice comes up behind us. We both whip around in surprise.  
Kenny stands there in her usual parka. The two of us stiffen.  
"Um" I choke out unsurely.  
"We were just talking about Wendy. She's been a real bitch lately and Stan wanted to know whether or not we should tell her. But we decided against it" Kyle lies smoothly.  
I shoot him a glare for insulting my girlfriend but I say nothing.  
"Good call" Kenny says with a chuckle, "if she's a bitch now, imagine her after you tell her that."  
"Y-yeah " I laugh nervously, "that would really suck."  
There's an awkward silence as neither Kyle and I really know what to say.  
"So…how are you feeling, Kenny?" Kyle asks sincerely.  
When Kenny looks at him confused, he quickly adds, "I-I mean after the almost drowning thing."  
"Oh that…yeah I'm alright. Don't sweat it" she assures us.  
"Good, that's…good" he mumbles uncomfortably.  
There's another awkward silence. Kyle and I glance at eachother nervously. Kenny's eyes drift between us, obviously realising something's up. Just as I'm about to make up some kind of lousy conversation starter like the weather, the bell rings saving us both.  
"Well we better head to class" I insist hastily.  
"Yeah, don't wanna be late" Kyle grabs his books and we head in the direction of class. Kenny hesitates behind us for a moment. Then she sighs, shaking her head, before following us to class.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

As the bell for lunch rang, the classroom became filled with excited chatter as our classmates hurried out. Kyle and I found soon found Kenny in the crowded mass and we all headed for the cafeteria. Kyle volunteered to grab my lunch for me and I handed him some money happily. I hated facing the lunch lady. Ever since chef died I couldn't look at any school chef the same. To me, there would only ever be one Chef. Kyle knew that, even without me telling him, he was great like that.

It was just Kenny and I sitting at our usual table. I sat adjacent to her, Kyle and I were usually on one side and she shared with Cartman on the other. Unsurprisingly, Cartman had never showed today; probably avoiding Kenny after what he did to her. I'd be hiding in a hole after what that bastard did. But knowing Cartman he's probably sickly proud of it. Well he has to come back to school eventually, and when he does Kyle and I will definitely have a few things to say to him.  
I took the moment to glance at Kenny. I hope she's alright after all she's been through. Hell after all the shit she'd apparently been through all these years, I can't imagine how she copes. I mean, dying constantly would mess up a person pretty badly. Not to mention having to hide your real gender on top of that.

Now that it was pointed out, I could definitely see the femininity in her face. Her slim cheekbones resting high upon her face, her full lips and defined eyelashes. These features were easily missed if you weren't looking. Plus it didn't help that most of her face was covered by that huge parka.  
I then realised I was staring at her and panicked for a moment thinking she'd notice. But luckily she wasn't focussed on me. As usual she was off inside her own head. She's always been the quiet one, hell when we were younger the only thing she'd really say were provocative jokes every now and then. But even those became scarce as she became older. We never really thought much of it, that's just always just how Kenny was.

Looking back, I should have seen the signs. Hell Kyle saw the signs. He always knew there was something up with Kenny. He'd mention it to me all the time, but I always brushed it off insisting that's just how Kenny was. I think he even tried to get Kenny to talk to him but she'd always shrug him off. I should have listened to Kyle. Kyle's always been great with how people feel. He's always been good at reading people, scary good even.

At that moment my thoughts were cut off by Kyle's return. He gave me a stern look, obviously noticing my staring. It practically screamed, _dude stop staring at Kenny it looks suspicious! _I sighed and nodded. I guess I did look kind of creepy just staring at her. Speaking of staring, Kenny had been staring at the same place all lunch. She'd barely touched her food. What could be _that _important? I followed her view to find out the source of her interest. I was surprised to find a familiar tuft of blonde hair and a blue shirt sitting at the table across the room.

Why would Kenny be staring at Butters? Was she onto us? Could she possibly suspect Butters knew? We hadn't spoken to him since yesterday when Kyle had explained the situation to both of us. Would he have told her? Did he tell her _we_ knew as well? This could be bad. I looked to Kyle and he was looking at me with a frown, he'd obviously already noticed my concerned state. I'd have to talk to him about my fears later today. Maybe even have a little chat to Butters as well.

**Ok guys, thanks for reading! I tried to update sooner this time to make up for the long waits for previous chapters. So I managed to get this posted within a week from the last one :D  
Don't forget to review! It's what motivates me to write x3**


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Kenny's POV**

I barely noticed Kyle's return as he took his place beside Stan. I was busy staring off to the other side of the Cafeteria. Butters hadn't noticed my staring yet thankfully. I watched his golden hair glow in the sunlight. Dammit why did he have to sit next to the window? How was it that even though I wanted to kill him, I also wanted to kiss him at the same time. I hate him. I hate how he made me feel yesterday. I hate how he makes me feel now. I hate him, yet I _can't_ hate him. But to hell if I'm gonna forgive him so easily. Butter's needs to know how much his comment had hurt me.  
"You mad at Butters or something?" Kyle asks suddenly.  
Damn Kyle and his perception. He's like a hawk. My mind drifted back to a few days ago when he'd asked if I was okay in the bus. After all these years he's the first person to point out my constant down moods. He'd been noticing more than I'd ever given him credit for.  
"No why?" I asked trying to appear naïve. I drifted my gaze from Butters immediately regretting my staring. Now Kyle will never let it go, that's just how he is. Sometimes it's nice to have such a caring friend as Kyle. But when you have as many secrets as I do, it just complicates things.  
"You were just looking at him really intently that's all" Kyle shrugs.  
"Nah I was just zoning out in that direction. He just happened to be in my line of sight" I assured him.  
When he looked unconvinced, I tried to reassure him with my usual facade to try to get him to stop worrying "Geez dude, what are you calling me gay?"  
Stan gave a scoff but quickly tried to disguise it as a cough. I swear he was laughing _at_ me instead of with me, but I let it go satisfied that Kyle had let the subject drop.  
"Do you guys wanna chill at Stark's Pond after school? I feel like we haven't all chilled together in ages," Stan suggested suddenly.  
"The three of us or…" I trailed off.  
Kyle piped up as if reading my thoughts, "Cartman won't be there, right?"  
"No way, I don't even know where he is. Not that I really care," Stan says through gritted teeth, as if trying to hold back anger. I wonder why he's pissed at Cartman, when I was in his body I never saw them talk once.  
I mulled the thought over. Some time with my friends actually sounded pretty damn good right now. After all the crap I'd been through over the past few days, I need a dose of reality. Where I wasn't an immortal or a girl pretending to be a boy. Where I didn't have to deal with Cartman or Butters. Where I was just Kenny. Kenny; the boy who barely talks save for a few provocative jokes. Where I could laugh and enjoy myself with my best friends. It felt like an eternity ago that my life had been that simple. Sure, I still had to deal with my constant dying but it was better than the heartache I feel right now.  
I made my decision and nodded "I'm in."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Butter's POV**

The school day dragged along excruciatingly slow. Every moment felt like it was being hauled out forever. All I wanted to do was talk to Kenny but I couldn't allow myself that privilege. I'd messed up. I knew as soon as I had uttered the words. _You're not even human!_ Why did I have to saw that? After knowing all the suffering Kenny had been through over the years, why would I just add to her pain? The look of utter betrayal as she looked at me in that moment was heartbreaking. But before I even had a chance to apologize she'd had that fit. _Don't touch me, just leave me alone_; that was the last thing she'd said to me. I would honour her wishes. I didn't even let myself look at her today, afraid I would give in to temptation and go talk to her. She probably never even wanted to talk to me again.  
Finally it was over. I made my way outside the school among the crowd of eager teenagers. The day was a murky grey but the rain had stopped. The smell of rain lingered in the air. I breathed in the pleasant scent deeply. It was a good day to walk home.  
I began on the usual walk home, my parents had stopped picking me up in middle school. Mum apparently thought they were "pampering" me too much. I tried not to scowl. My parents are the one thing that makes me mad. They treat me so terribly sometimes it verges on child abuse. Once they'd locked me in a basement for an entire week, thinking I was a monster. I guess that's why I'm always so cheerful. I deliberately force myself to think positive thoughts to forget the horrible ones. This attitude had gotten me through all the bullying, well kind of. It still stuck with me but I just suppressed it inside, trying to bury all those negative feelings.  
But right now I couldn't hide how terrible I felt. I just wanted to hit myself. Why was I so stupid? I wish I could take it back. Dammit Butters! I yelled at myself. In frustration, I kicked a nearby rock in my path and it fell into the gutter with a _clang_. The noise rang in my ears and I became aware of another noise; a cheerful humming. Where was it coming from? I looked up only noticing my surrounding now. I'd been walking lost in my thoughts for about half an hour now. The street was practically empty, excluding the occasional car every now and then. It was still inside weather, everyone still concerned for rain.  
There it was again. It was coming from a nearby corner and getting louder. I don't know why, but I found myself hiding between the gaps in the buildings. The source of the noise turned the corner and made its way past. It was Eric. He adorned a shovel slung over his shoulder and was humming happily to himself as he strode past. I'd never seen him look so excited. He had a huge grin on his face that for some reason made me uneasy. The humming grew fainter as he moves further from my hiding place.  
When I was sure I was out of his eye sight, I stumbled out. I had the most unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Eric Cartman was never that happy unless he was up to something; usually something nasty. I fought the urge to turn around immediately and head home. Eric had never stopped his torment of me. He'd continued his teasing where others had grown to accept me. The last thing I wanted was to become involved in one of his schemes like when we were kids.  
But I couldn't help the curiosity. What if he was planning some sort of revenge on Kenny? I couldn't allow him to get away with that. The least I can do for Kenny is protect her, even if she hates me.  
Determinedly I begin to follow Cartman. He's far ahead but I can just see his huge form bobbing ahead against the gloomy pre-rain cloudy sky.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Kenny's POV**

We made it to Stark's Pond without any difficulties. Now that Stan has a car, getting to places has been a lot easier. As usual, the place was empty. No one visited it much anymore, it had become our personal hang out. We were quiet, and I began to worry that this afternoon was going to be just like today, they had been unusually quiet all day. I was supposed to be the quiet one and even I was itching to break the silence.  
"What's up with you guys? You've been quiet all day," I ask, concerned.  
Kyle and Stan exchanged an anxious look.  
"N-Nothing, I guess we've just been worried about Wendy all day. Sorry if we've been weird," Stan explained nervously.  
I didn't quite buy his excuse. Stan and Wendy hadn't had a real fight in years. They'd out-grown that as they'd gotten older. I turned to study Kyle. He had never been good at keeping secrets, despite his uncanny ability to uncover them.  
"Kyle…" I stared at him intently. He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze.  
"Why don't you ever take of your hood Kenny?" he choked out unexpectedly.  
I was completely caught off guard for a moment. Where had _that _come from?  
"You have never once asked me that. Why, after all these years, do you bring that up now?" I snap at him suspiciously. Stan gives him a stern look and I narrow my eyes at both of them.  
"Ok seriously, what the hell is going on? You guys have been keeping something from me all day and I want to know what it is!" I growl at them.  
Kyle is the first to speak and Stan looks as if he wants to interrupt, but he remains silent.  
"Kenny, we have something to confess… Damien told us everything," Kyle explains.  
"How much do you know?" I ask carefully, not daring to hope.  
"We know you can't die," Stan pauses for a moment, looking as if he was going to continue but he doesn't.  
"Are you mad at us?" Kyle asks fearfully.  
"Why would I be mad? This is the best news I've heard since that dude with the flute got rid of all the rats in South Park!" I chuckle at my inside joke as they give me confused looks, "but how do you remember? Shouldn't you have forgotten?"  
"Damien said his power cancelled out yours or something like that," Stan explains unsurely.  
That satanic son of a bitch! He could have stopped my curse all this time and neglected to tell me. The next time I die, I swear, he's going to get an earful. I might just get Pip to yell at him _for_ me. I internally chuckled at the thought.  
"We're sorry we never remembered, it must have been awful for you," Kyle says with a sympathetic look.  
I feel as though I am on the verge of tears. This is the moment I've been waiting for my whole life; for my friends to finally know of my curse. Without thinking I pulled them into a tight embrace. Kyle hugs back freely but Stan stands there frigid. I release them and give him a questioning look. He looks torn.  
"What's wrong?" I ask him.  
"It's just… Wendy… um…I'm not sure if she'd…you see," he mutters uneasily unable to finish a sentence.  
Kyle interrupts his incoherent mumbling, "What Stan _means_ is. We have something else we need to tell you."  
Stan rubs his neck nervously and Kyle looks down shuffling his feet. Then, as if on cue, they both blurt out at the same time, "We know you're a girl!"  
Stan looks relived to get it off his chest and Kyle watches me cautiously, as if judging my reaction.  
I stare at them silently, unable to find the right words. So instead I ask the one fear that's plagued me for all these years.  
"Do you hate me now?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Butter's POV**

How the heck did I find myself in this position? Here I am hiding behind a gravestone in the town _cemetery_ as Eric Cartman digs up graves behind me. I'd followed him all the way here and by the time I realised I shouldn't have come at all it was too late. But you can't honestly blame me, when I saw Cartman heading into the cemetery the _last_ thing I expected was for him to start digging. He could have been visiting a family member's grave…and he just happened to have a shovel. _Ok_ I'm an idiot.  
I'm not sure how long I've been hiding here. The sun has begun to set so I'm assuming a few hours. My legs had fallen asleep and I could feel pins and needles rushing through them. But I didn't dare move. Who knows what Eric would do to me if he found me here! This is the same guy who locked me in a bomb shelter for over a week just to go to Casa Bonita. There's no limit to the horrible acts he'll commit to get his way.  
All I had heard for the last hour or so was the methodical sound of digging. In with the shovel, out with the shovel, the sprinkling of dirt on a pile and repeat. Over and over, it was almost maddening. With each plunge he got closer and closer to the coffin. As to who's grave he was digging up, I had no idea. He had found his first coffin about an hour ago. Cartman's strained groans had echoed the air as he pulled up the coffin from its resting place. Even with his new strength as a wrestler, it was a strenuous task. Then, just as I thought it would be over, the digging began again. How many innocent graves was he going to defile? I still prayed to god that he would stop at two.  
Suddenly I heard the undeniable thunk of a shovel hitting wood. The second coffin had been found. I heard Cartman drop the shovel and I knew he'd be retrieving the casket. I took this as my chance to flee, hoping he'd be distracted enough with the coffin.  
As I leapt up I couldn't help glancing back to make sure he was still there. Big mistake. My legs had continued moving and I'd tripped over a small ornament left on one of the graves. A gave an _oof_ as my body hit the ground. The impact had been hard, as I'd been too preoccupied to stop my fall with my hands. My head had landed harshly on the ground. My vision spun, yet I continued to try my escape. Which way had I come? Was Cartman behind me or in front of me? Was he beside me? I ran blindly ahead and suddenly found myself falling as the ground beneath me disappeared. I fell roughly into an open grave. I felt pain shock through the arm I had landed on but my vision at least had begun to clear.  
Eric's face was looming from the top of the grave.  
"Well if it isn't Butters, fancy meeting _you_ here" he said in a sing song voice. He smiled like a horrific Cheshire cat.  
"I-I w-was j-just l-leaving" I stuttered out. My body was quaking in fear so badly my teeth chattered.  
Cartman reached for the shovel behind him, "No, why don't you stay? I _insist"_

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! :D**


	21. Chapter Twenty

**WARNING- Butter's POV is a little dark in this chapter. You have been warned.**

**Kyle POV**

"Do you hate me now?"  
Shock coursed over Stan's face but I can't say I was surprised. This was exactly how I'd expected her to react. As Stan's constantly pointed out, I can read people like books. Kenny, I admit, has always been a tough nut to crack. She's always so closed off to everyone, so much so that often people believe Kenny doesn't have any deep emotional level. But I've always seen more, I've seen the pain behind her smile for years. But unfortunately, I had never asked her about it. Anytime I _did_ decide to ask her if she was ok, she'd shrug it off and make a joke. So I always just assumed I was imagining things, I mean this was Kenny; always happy, always cheerful Kenny. But now that I knew her secrets, she was a lot easier to read. I could clearly see the signs I'd missed. Hiding her gender was obviously a sore subject for her, possibly even more than her deaths. So her friends' reactions to its reveal would definitely play on her mind a fair bit.  
I chose my next words carefully, filling them will as much reassurance as I could. "Why would we hate you? You're still Kenny, whether you're a girl or not."  
Stan piped up beside me, backing me up, "Yeah dude…I mean um" he turned to me helplessly, "what's the girl version of dude?"  
Kenny laughed and for the first time in years took off her hood, "Dude's fine."  
Her blonde locks fell messily around her face. It was in its usual spiky mess. It always looked as if it was in a permanent state of hat hair, or I suppose hood hair would be more accurate. It was obvious why she'd stopped taking off her hood. Without its cover, her face was undoubtedly feminine. Her piercing blue eyes topped off with her sandy blonde hair. I had to admit, she looked almost angelic.  
"Wow Kenny, don't take this the wrong way but you're actually pretty cute" I compliment her with a smile.  
"Don't go getting any ideas, Kyle" she replies with a chuckle, jokingly punching me in the arm.  
"You're not my type," I assured her.  
"Oh I _know,"_ she said with a sly wink.  
Some part of me knew she was referring to my sexuality and I can't say I was surprised. Kenny sees things that usually others don't. If anyone was to figure out I was gay, it was her. I tried to laugh it off nervously looking towards Stan to see if he'd suspected anything. But he just looked confused at the exchange.  
"What? What's so funny?" he asked.  
"Nothing, girl stuff," Kenny said giving me a wink. I gave her a warning look and she smirked at me. Stan shook his head and gave a chuckle, letting it go.  
Kenny's smile was genuine as she grinned broadly at us. I could see this was what she needed most after what she'd been through was some normalcy with her best friends.  
"I can't tell you guys how great it feels to not have to hide from you anymore. Out of everyone, you were the two I wished I could tell most. I've been tempted to confess my gender to you two for years. But I was so worried how you'd react, that you'd reject me. Thinking about it I was less scared to tell you about my immortality! Hell I tried so many times to tell you two about my deaths. But the curse even wiped _that_ away." Kenny looked a little sad as she muttered the last sentence. Guilt twinged in my heart as I saw the familiar pain flash in her eyes.  
"Well we're here now. Why don't you tell us again?" I suggest softly.  
"But you already know" she objects.  
"No, tell us about your deaths. We're here for you, Kenny. You can let it all out now; all the pain you've been harbouring for years. We've got time. Don't we, Stan?" I insist turning to Stan.  
He nods firmly, "That's right, Kenny. We should know about every death we forgot. You deserve that."  
She looks at me surprised.  
"You mean it? It's not going to be pretty, you know. I've had some pretty gruesome deaths" she warns us.  
"We can handle it. You should take advantage of us finally being able to remember" Stan assures her.  
She stares at both of us, almost overwhelmed at our gesture.  
"Well ok. Um I guess the first death I remember was when I was four..."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Butters POV**

There was a pounding in my head as I awoke. It was dark and I couldn't see anything but I knew right away this was not my room. Where was I? I gasped as it all came back to me. Eric! What had he done to me?  
The last thing I remembered was Eric looming over the grave, an evil grin on his face. He'd forcefully grabbed a fist of my hair and pulled me out of the grave. My legs shook with fear as I tried to stand. Before I could even attempt escape again , Eric gave a mighty blow to my head with the shovel. I fell back down, my head spinning and my eyes watering. I could feel blood tricking down my face from the wound but I couldn't give up. I could barely see, my vision was so blurred, but I attempted to get to my feet again. When the second blow hit me in the same spot, I knew escape was useless. The blackness was swallowing me up, luring me into sleep. Eventually I gave in and let the blackness take me. I vaguely registered Eric's laugh before my consciousness faded.  
In the present, I groaned and tried to raise a hand to cradle my aching head. But to my surprise, my arm did not move. Panic hit me as I realised I could not move my arms or legs. My arms were bound tight behind my back and my legs were also bound tight to eachother. Oh god, he'd tied me up.  
A noise not too far away caught my attention; footsteps, heavy footsteps against wood. They were coming from above me. Was I underground? The footsteps seemed to become fainter until suddenly, on the other side of the room I heard the click of a door unlocking. The creak seemed unbelievably loud in the silent room as the door opened. I faced the wall, not able to move to look at the source of the sound. However, the light from the doorway left a huge shadow of the visitor on the wall. It towered almost menacingly over me. Then suddenly the shadow disappeared as a switch was flicked. The room was bathed in light and it burned my unprepared eyes. I whined in protest, clenching my eyes shut against the harsh light.  
The footsteps drummed down what I assumed was stairs.  
"Well look who's finally awake," the visitor chuckled. I recognised Eric's voice instantly.  
He turned me over, presumably so he could get a better look at me. I opened my eyes trying not to wince as the light burnt them. Eventually my vision began to clear and I looked around the room. I knew straight away I was in Eric's basement. Heck I'd been locked down here for day's from the Coon and Friends incident. It had changed slightly over the years, but I'd know it anywhere.  
I almost gave a shriek as I realised right next to me lay two soil coated coffins. I assumed they were the coffins he'd dug up earlier. Those coffins held dead bodies. _Actual _dead bodies. I thought I was going to be sick.  
I hastily drifted my gaze to Eric, trying to avoid looking at the coffins any longer. He was wearing his pyjamas, so I assumed it was late at night. How long had I been out? Had my parents even noticed I wasn't home? Geez I'd be grounded for sure. This isn't the time to be worrying about getting grounded, Butters! I chastised myself. I'm tied up in my psychotic bully's basement; I can worry about groundings later. That's if I even live that long.  
"Let me go" I beg him.  
He looks steadily at me, replying calmly "That's not going to happen, Butters."  
I knew it was useless asking. This was Eric Cartman I was talking to. He doesn't care who he hurts to get his way. God, what was he going to do with me? I decided to voice my fears.  
"Wh-what are you g-going to do with m-me?" I stuttered nervously.  
"Don't worry, you might actually be of some use to me. You mean quite a bit to Kenny. I might need you as leverage if she tries to interfere in my…business" Eric explained matter-of-factly.  
"You're wrong, Kenny hates me. " I correct him sadly.  
Eric scoffs, "Oh trust me, Kenny cares for you a lot more than you think. More than even _she _realises. I know every thought she's ever had. Even the ones she's not even aware of."  
"You do? How?" I ask curiously, not sure whether to believe him or not.  
"We're connected, Kenny and I. It's an immortal thing that neither of us have any control over. It's a pain that I had to be bonded with someone as poor and lame as Kenny. But I guess beggars can't be choosers. Power is still power afterall." Eric explains.  
"Bond? Power? What are you talking about?" I mumble confused.  
He looks exasperated, "You know about her gender. That I know for certain. But I can tell you know more, otherwise you'd be more surprised when I said immortality. So Butters, exactly how much do you _really_ know about Kenny?" Eric asks intently, kneeling down to glare into my eyes.  
I felt nervous at how serious he was being but, since I didn't really have a choice, I told him the truth, "Just that she can't die. Damien told us it's because she's immortal, like him."  
Eric seemed satisfied with my answer and looked slightly amused, "God, you don't know _anything_. You're wrong. Kenny may be immortal, but she's still a human. She was born a human. It's her curse that holds her immortality. Kenny may have all the powers of an immortal, but she's still a human. Unfortunately this means, unlike true immortals, her powers come with a price. A sacrifice must be paid for her powers to work. For Kenny, it's her life," Eric explained.  
"How do you know all this?" I gape at him.  
"I've been doing a little research. I thought it was necessary after learning all the _interesting_ information Kenny stores in her head" he replies calmly before standing up again and walking towards the other side of the room. "Which actually brings me to my next surprise."  
I watch nervously as he picks up a small cage. At first I think it's empty but when I look closer I notice a grey cat lying lazily in the cage. It doesn't move, but simply looks up stoically at Eric as he picks up the cage.  
"You remember Mr Kitty, right Butters?" Eric asks, gesturing to the cage.  
"Um yeah I guess…" I answer hesitantly.  
"How does he look to you? Do you see anything wrong with him?" Eric offered.  
I looked closely at the cat and saw nothing of real interest besides it looking sleepy, but that's normal for cats.  
"No…why?" I replied confused. I had no idea where he could be going with this.  
"I'm asking you this because Mr Kitty actually died four years ago" Eric said causally.  
My eyes widened and immediately flicked back to the cat. He had to be lying. The cat laying there looked fine, completely healthy. There's no way he could be serious.  
"But-" I began but Eric cut me off.  
"I know, hard to believe isn't it? He looks just the way he did before he died. It took me a while to do it, I had to practise on Mr Kitty to finally get it right. But now here he is, alive and well. That's the power of an immortal," he explained with a grin, his look turned dark and he gave a chuckle as he added, "and thanks to Kenny it's all mine. I can resurrect anyone and anything I want."  
I was too shocked to say anything. I just kept staring at the cat in disbelief. Eric continued talking as if he didn't care whether I was listening or not. This was his villain moment and he was enjoying every minute of it. He strolled over to the coffins. I'd almost forgotten they were there.  
"W-who's in there?" I asked nervously, my curiosity getting the better of me.  
Eric grin widened, "I'm glad you asked," he rested a hand on one of the coffins, "you may not have had the chance of meeting them. But I'm sure you've heard of my father and his wife, Mr and Mrs Tenorman."  
I couldn't describe the shock that I felt in that moment. Out of all the bodies, all the people he could have chosen, the Tenormans would have never been my guess.  
"But you killed them. You made them into _chilli. _Why would you want to revive them?" I objected.  
Eric clenched his fists and his face visibly darkened, his eyes becoming clouded with rage.  
He glared at me harshly before shouting intensely, "I DIDN'T KILL HIM!"_  
_I cowered away from his rage, wishing I could take back what I'd said. Eric caught himself clearing his throat. I noticed he deliberately tried to calm down. He tried again, "My father's death wasn't my fault. It wasn't _me_ who shot them."  
I nodded anxiously trying to assure him that I believed him. An angry Eric Cartman was _not_ something I needed right now.  
"Anyway, I've decided to revive them because it's my father. His wife is of no use to me, but I suppose he'd prefer her to be revived as well." Eric explained tenderly stroking one of the coffins.  
"I know he's a ginger but I'm willing to overlook that. He'll probably be mad at me, but maybe if I revive him he'll forgive me. He might even want to stay with my mum this time. We could be a family," Eric's eyes looked hopeful and full of emotion as he stared at the coffin.  
I felt my heart twinge. I almost felt sorry for him. Even if he _is_ a crazy asshole, deep down, Eric was still just a boy who'd always longed for a father.  
Then after a moment hesitation, Eric opened the coffin. When the Tenormans were buried I guess the chilli had been poured into both coffins since they couldn't put the bodies in there. After the many years in the ground the remains of the chilli had become a horrible, rotted mush within the confines of the coffin. The meat had turned green and mould grew generously over the pile. It was the most disgusting sight I had ever seen. I almost threw up right then.  
I saw Eric gag but he held back as he tipped the contents of the coffin onto the floor. I desperately wriggled away from the rotting material but I couldn't run from the smell. Oh god, I definitely was going to throw up.  
Eric did the same with the other coffin, spilling the contents on top of the previous pile. Once he was done, a pile of rotted chilli sat on the floor. Eric took a moment to grab a gasmask from a nearby table. It looked like one of those old-fashioned ones the Nazi's wore. Of _course _Eric would own something like that, he practically idolised World War II.  
Pulling up his sleeves, Eric moved towards the pile. I felt the colour drain from my face as I realised what he was going to do. Despite my mind screaming at me to look away, my body wouldn't listen. I was frozen there in horror as he began to dig through the mess. He grabbed fistfuls of chilli and as it came in contact with his hand, parts began to quiver and change. They would pale turning pink, it took me a moment to realise it was turning back into flesh.  
With each scoop Cartman transformed more and more of the chilli. He'd grab each piece of newly revived flesh and chuck it to one side, leaving the rest of the unneeded chilli residue behind. The pile of flesh he was making moved on its own accord, joining and melding as if trying to piece itself back together. Finally I was able to look away from the horrifying sight. But I could still hear him. I stared at the wall for what seemed like hours, unable to ignore the squelching and gurgling sounds of moving flesh behind me.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Kenny POV**

Tears were running freely down my cheeks by now. I'd been telling my friends every gruesome detail of my deaths for the last few hours now. Telling them such personal traumas that I'd hidden inside for so long felt both amazing and emotionally draining at the same time. Kyle gripped my hand comfortingly as I told them everything. It was very late when I finally finished. Kyle and Stan both sat there silently, still soaking in all that I'd told them. Suddenly Kyle broke the silence.  
"Kenny…I'm so…so sorry. I wish we could have remembered," he murmured softly, looking at me meaningfully as if he didn't feel words were substantial enough to describe his guilt. "Don't worry about it, I don't blame you guys. I've never blamed you. I've-" my sentence cut off as pain suddenly ripped through my heart. Both boys' eyes widened in concern as I groaned and dropped to the ground. It was a familiar pain, just like the one at Butter's house. My heart felt like it was on fire, the burning scorched through it as if trying to cook it from the inside. I clawed helplessly at my own chest, desperately wishing I could rip it out to spare myself this pain.  
Stan and Kyle looked at me desperately, unsure what to do.  
"Kenny? Kenny what's wrong?" Stan asked frantically kneeling beside me. I couldn't answer, I could barely think. The pain was all I could think about. I couldn't even bring myself to reach for my gun.  
They watched me helplessly, Kyle still gripping my hand squeezing tightly in both fear and attempt to comfort. They knew they couldn't take me to a hospital. I doubt the hospital could help me anyway. This pain felt supernatural, no natural causes could create this kind of intense pain so fast and out of nowhere. So instead I had to wait it out, hoping it would eventually stop like last time.  
Unfortunately for me it lasted much longer this time, at times I wished they'd just kill me and put me out of this misery. The pain never wavered. It was a burning, constantly squeezing my heart. Tears of pain trailed down my already wet cheeks. Eventually, I just closed my eyes tightly and hoped that the end would come soon.

**A/N Wow, this is honestly the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and it didn't creep you out too much. Don't forget to review! :D**


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

**Stan's POV**

I watched helplessly as Kenny groaned in agony on the ground. It felt like it had been almost an hour now since this began. Her pain didn't seem to stop at all, if anything it seemed to get worse. Kyle looked just as panicked as I was. But he continued to hold her hand, frantically assuring her it'd be ok.  
Finally her cries stopped and I sighed in relief as she went still. But my panic returned almost immediately as I realised she was too still. There was no rise and fall of her chest, she wasn't breathing.  
"Kenny?" Kyle hissed in fear. He pressed his fingers to her neck and I saw his face fall.  
"Is she…?" I couldn't even finish my sentence.  
"Yes…she's dead" He confirmed solemnly.  
"But she'll come back right? I mean, Damien said she always comes back," I insisted desperately.  
Kyle shrugged helplessly, he knew just as little about Kenny's "abilities" as I did.  
Suddenly a loud gasp returned our attention back to Kenny. It was Kenny, she was alive! Kenny sat up coughing and spluttering for breath just as she had after drowning just days ago. I watched the colour return to her skin removing its previous stark pale. Before I knew it, I clung to Kenny gripping her in a tight hug.  
"Thank god you're ok!" I cried in relief. I looked to Kyle smiling through teary eyes expecting to see a similar expression. But instead I saw a worried frown.  
"This isn't how it works," he murmured thoughtfully, "we aren't supposed to remember."  
"Maybe it's different now since we know about the curse?" I suggested trying not to let his suspicion ruin my relief.  
"But even if that was true, Kenny isn't supposed to revive so quickly" Kyle insisted.  
"He's right" Kenny interrupted her voice gravelly, "this isn't normal."  
I pulled back so I could look at her face. I was met with the same worried frown that matched Kyle's.  
"What happened then?" I asked an unsettling feeling in my stomach.  
"I don't know. This isn't the first time it's happened. It happened yesterday when I was with-" she cut off, pain flickering across her face for a moment before she pushed it away and moved on, "But it wasn't this bad. That time it only lasted a few minutes."  
I was curious to know what she had been about to say but I didn't pry.  
"Why didn't you tell us?" Kyle insisted.  
"How could I!?" she snapped suddenly angry, "I thought everything was still the same. That you didn't _know_. I've never had the luxury of sharing my problems!"  
I saw the tears begin to fall down her face helplessly. Kyle's face was filled with guilt as he kneeled to wipe her tears away with his sleeve.  
"I'm sorry Kenny, I- I wasn't thinking. I can't even imagine how hard it's been for you," Kyle assured her, reassuringly cupping her cheek once he'd dried her tears.  
Kenny managed a small smile, "I'm sorry too. I know you guys couldn't help it. I guess I still have some unresolved feelings I've been holding over the years."  
"We're here now. You don't have to hold your pain in anymore. We'll figure this out, _together_." Kyle promises, grasping her hand in both of his.  
I join them, kneeling beside Kyle, as I take her other hand and comfort her as well, "You aren't alone anymore Kenny,"  
Tears well up in her eyes again as a smile breaks across her face. It occurs to me then that I'd never seen Kenny smile this genuinely. Her eyes seem to brighten and only in its absence do I finally notice the pain she usually holds within them. In that moment I knew, I never wanted to see that kind of pain in her, or anyone's, eyes again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Cartman's POV**

**The Next Day**

"How are you feeling today, Sweetie?" my mother asked as she poked her head into my room. I rolled over in bed giving a fake groan.  
"I'm still not feeling well," I lied. She looked at me worriedly.  
"Well you stay in bed today," she said reassuringly.  
I tried to hide my smile as I mocked concern, "But what about school?"  
"I'm not letting my baby go to school sick," she said firmly.  
I gave a fake sigh, "I guess so."  
She left my room and I waited patiently for the sound of her car letting me know she's gone to work. As soon as I was sure I was alone I gave a grin and leapt from my bed. I hastily pulled on my jacket as I headed for the basement. I could barely contain the excitement that rushed through me. This is it. _This is it_. I'm going to see if it worked. I'm going to get see _my_ _Dad.  
_The basement was eerily quiet as I turned the light on. Everything was just as left it. Butters was still tied up where I left him. He stared at me judgingly as I walked down but said nothing. He had bags under his eyes and it seemed he hadn't slept a wink. But I didn't care. He wasn't who I was here for.  
I turned my attention to the other side of the room. Two empty coffins lay in the corner and I knew the room reeked of rotten chilli but that didn't bother me. All I cared about were the two bodies lying in front of me. One body, actually, my father's. The colour had returned to his skin and I could see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. I knelt beside him nervously. _What would I even say? How would he react? Would he reject me?_  
I shook those thoughts from my head_. No, I brought him back. If anything he'd _thank_ me, he'd owe me his life. He would surely accept me as his son after what I did for him._  
Before I could let anymore doubts deter me I tapped his shoulder lightly, "Wake up, Dad."  
As soon as I said the words his eyes snapped open. He rose to a sitting position and turned to me. When he didn't say anything I decided to break the silence.  
"I-I'm your son. Eric Cartman. I brought you back," I explained to him. He looked at me blankly and didn't say a word.  
"How are you feeling? Are you hungry?" I asked him concerned.  
"_I'm_ hungry," Butters grumbled from the other side of the room.  
"Shut up, nobody asked _you_" I snapped at him. _How dare he interrupt my father-son time!_  
"Can you stand?" I turned back to my father. He rose to his feet immediately then continued to look at me blankly.  
"Something's wrong with him," Butters spoke up once again.  
"I'm not going to warn you again. Shut up!" I threatened him.  
"He isn't saying anything. He isn't even _reacting_. Doesn't it seem strange?" Butters insisted but I instantly denied all truth in his statement.  
As I marched up to Butters furiously, "Don't you ever say anything like that about my Dad again!"  
Butters cowered fear in his eyes as he nodded, "I'm sorry, Eric. Please just d-don't hurt me ok?"  
I glared at him for a moment before turning my back, "Come on, Dad, let's play some catch."  
I walked up the stairs and my Dad followed. _See, there's nothing wrong with him. Butters is just trying to mess with me. _  
"Wait, Eric! Please, don't leave me down here again!" Butters' cries followed me as I made my way through the door. I switched the light off and ignored him, shutting the door behind me.

**I'm so sorry it's been so long guys! It's my last year of high school and I've been swamped with work. But I'm finally on holidays! Sadly in Australia the holidays only lasts 2 weeks and I have work as well but I'll try to update at least once more before they end.  
Also please review! :3**

**P.s Oh in other news I got a tumblr haha. If any of you would like to follow me, my tumblr name is "fictionsmyaddiction" :3**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Kenny POV  
**Was I really going to do this? I'd been convinced this was a bad idea the moment I thought of it. But that didn't stop me from hesitantly knocking on Karen's bedroom door. All my life I'd avoided this moment, hidden within the confines of my parka. Well not anymore.  
I took a deep breath and knocked again, this time more firmly as I became more determined. Karen opened the door groaning sleepily. She'd had grown a lot over the years. At the age of only 11 she'd caught up to me in height. Now she was 13 and still matched me in height but she'd probably overtake me in a year or two. Her hair was dishevelled and she was pyjama clad. I felt a bit guilty knowing I'd probably woken her up.  
"Kenny, it's like 6am," she complained groggily.  
"Sorry for waking you Karen. I have a little favour to ask…" I trailed off sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck.  
She perked up realising this must be important if I was acting this nervous, "What is it, Kenny?"  
I mumbled my reply refusing to meet her eyes, "I was wondering if I could borrow some of your clothes today."  
"Really?" Her eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously, "…you know I don't have any guy clothes right?"  
I sighed, Karen never missed a chance to insult my fashion sense. Karen had always wanted a big sister she could relate to. But instead she got me, the wannabe brother.  
"That's why I need _yours, _I don't have any _girl_ clothes." I explained rolling my eyes.  
All drowsiness left her system as she became eager, "Seriously?"  
I nodded and a grin spread over her face, "Yes! I've always wanted to give you a makeover!"  
She excitedly grabbed my arm and pulled me into her room. I groaned, beginning to second guess my decision but knowing it was too late to go back now.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Kyle POV**

I met Stan at the bus stop like usual. We didn't talk about what had happened to Kenny last night. In fact, it seemed we went out of our way to avoid the whole horrible subject even resorting to talking about the weather.  
"Geez it's cold today" Stan pointed out with a shiver.  
"Yeah, it's strange for this time of summer. Maybe it's going to rain," I suggested, even though there was not a cloud in the sky. Our conversation was cut off as Stan was literally saved by the bell as his phone rang. Wendy _again_. I supressed a scowl. Of _course_, she'd interrupt any alone time I had with Stan.  
Sighing I looked at my watch. If Cartman was going to show up today he would have been here by now. I wasn't surprised, he was probably hiding knowing the trouble he'd be in when he came back. Stan and I weren't going to let him off on this one. He not only drowned Kenny but he almost crashed her funeral by outing her to the entire town. I couldn't believe I'd ever felt sorry for him being possessed by Kenny. I wish she'd never let him go.  
Now that I thought back to that, I guess it was Kenny saying all those weird things. Geez why'd she have to say something so ridiculous over the loudspeaker of the school? Couldn't she think up something that _didn't_ involve him? How the hell did she think saying Cartman was in love with him would embarrass the fatass? Cartman already did that prank himself in fourth grade. On the jumbo-screen at a basketball game of all places. The loudspeaker incident was nothing compared to the embarrassment I had suffered for weeks after that. Especially since Cartman kept going along with it. The bastard thought it was hilarious and continued referred to him as "babe" and "his jew" for weeks. It had taken months to convince people I wasn't gay. Geez I hadn't even come out of the closet myself yet.  
My thoughts were cut off at the arrival of another person. I looked up expecting to see an orange parka. Instead I found myself face to face with a slim blonde, her short hair combed into pixie-like flicks, wearing a bright yellow sundress, with white leggings underneath and a slim orange coat. It took me a moment to recognise her.  
"Kenny?" I gaped. She fiddled nervously with the bottom of her coat eyes fixed on the ground.  
"Y-yeah. I thought now that you and Stan know, I might as well not hide anymore," she gave a uncertain shrug and hesitantly looked up. Seeing my shocked expression she became even tenser and quickly added, "It's too much isn't it? I told Karen this was too much. I'll just go home and change"  
She turned quickly to leave but I grabbed her arm.  
"No, no. I was just surprised. I mean, it's one thing to know you're a girl. It's another to actually _see_ it. It's just something I gotta get used to" I insisted trying my best to reassure her. She still looked uncertain but she nodded.  
"Wow, Kenny, don't you look…Just wow," Stan's voice came up behind us as he pocketed his phone.  
"Seriously Kenny, you look great" I added.  
This seemed to comfort Kenny and she grinned at our praise, "Thanks guys that means a lot, really,"  
The bus arrived then and Kenny's smile immediately disappeared and her nervous expression returned. I gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder and we entered the bus. At first hardly anyone was paying attention to us, that is until Kenny hesitantly entered behind me. Conversations hushed, eyes looked up as their friend's tapped their shoulders and even the bus driver stared. Before I had a chance to snap at them for staring, Stan beat me to it.  
"Ok guys, listen up. I know some of you have probably recognised her but for those of you who haven't, this is Kenny. Yes, she's a girl. No, she's didn't get a sex change. Yes, she's been pretending to be a boy. No, she's not explaining why. If any of you have a problem with it you can take it up with me." Stan announced.  
"And me" I added, even though I knew it was unnecessary. Stan was the quarterback of the football team, no one was going to question him.  
"Any questions?" he challenged crossing his arms, eyes scanning the crowd daring anyone to speak up.  
One hand raised and Stan glared. "What is it, Craig?"  
"Are you done? Cause I honestly don't care" he said stoically. I heard Kenny give a small chuckle, her tension releasing instantly. Trust Craig's apathetic attitude to break the tension.  
"Geez Tucker, you don't care about anything unless it's about your damn guinea pig," Kenny jeered back strutting up to his seat to give him a playful punch to the arm.  
"Yeah so, what's your point?" Craig replied with a shrug.  
We took our seats, Stan next to me and Kenny sitting next to Craig. She immediately gave him a quiet thanks, flashing a grateful smile. He shrugged as if he didn't care but I saw him give the slightest hint of a smirk. I always knew they had some sort of unique friendship. But it mostly consisted of them wagging class together or being the sad drunks at a party. Maybe there friendship was deeper than I'd thought.  
None of the other students said anything negative about Kenny's appearance when they arrived at school. In fact, many people complimented her. The girls took a particular interest, organising to take her shopping for clothes after she admitted she'd borrowed Karen's. Mr Garrison wasn't that hard to sway either. All it took was one of his students to point out how long it took _him_ to decide his gender and he quickly shut up. Kenny seemed to enjoy the attention and her nervousness from the morning faded. I could practically feel the negative emotions leave her as she realised that everyone had accepted her just as she was.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Butters POV**

I fought the urge to pass out. I couldn't bring myself to sleep down here, yet my body cried for it. My eyes ached and I could feel bags forming under them. My muscles ached in my arms from the awkward position they' been tied in. My legs were pins and needles from laying on the hard floor all night. Yet none of it bothered me as much as it should. Maybe I was starting to get used to being locked up. It'd happened enough times in my life.  
I made a mental list as I thought back to each horrible experience. Firstly, being locked up in this very basement, dressed as Professor Chaos, while forced to share the tiny quarters with a bucket of my own faeces. The bomb-shelter when Eric convinced me the world was ending, just so he could go to Casa Bonita. And finally, the time my Mother thought she'd killed me so my Father subsequently thought he'd brought back as a monster when I returned. They'd locked me in the basement for three days, trapped with a woman's corpse they'd thrown down assuming I'd eat her. I remember the hunger I'd felt in those days, it was unlike any torture I'd ever experienced. The woman's corpse eventually began to rot yet the awful smell still wasn't enough to shake away my immense hunger. I remember I was on the verge of resorting to actually eating the corpse when my parents finally entered the basement. Deciding there was nothing wrong with me, they'd let me out and acted as if they'd done nothing wrong and would threaten to ground me if I ever tried to bring it up. I shuddered at the memory. Spending the night locked up in Eric's basement with two corpses seemed like heaven compared to that.  
To distract myself from those horrible memories, my mind drifted to thoughts of Kenny. I wondered if she'd noticed I was missing. Even if she had she probably wouldn't have cared. She'd likely hated me and I knew she had every right. What I'd said to her was awful. I'd had all this time to dwell on our last conversation. I repeated the conversation over and over in my head. Each time I wished I could take my words back. I regretted in with all my heart. I had no right to question her humanity.  
Heck, Kenny was the most human person I'd ever known. She was brave, caring, kind and always willing to put herself in danger to protect others. There was a reason everyone had loved Mysterion; Kenny was a true hero. She'd never hurt or wronged anyone, not even when everyone else was picking on me. Kenny had even stuck up for me once or twice. I'd always looked up to Kenny, even before I knew the struggles she faced hiding her gender or her immortality. And it didn't matter whether she was technically human or not. To me she would always be the best human I knew.  
She was the first person I've met that had experienced more pain than I had. She understood what it was like to have horrible things happen to you but to have to hide it. To never be able to tell anyone about the things you've been through.  
I startled myself with the sudden passion I felt as these thoughts raced through my mind. I'd never felt this strongly about anyone else before. I wasn't sure what had swayed me. Maybe it had happened years ago back, before I even knew she was a girl. Maybe it was the moment she'd cried in the changing room and I saw my first glimpse of the pain she's hidden all the years. Maybe it was the day we'd sat by the pool and she'd opened up to me. Or maybe it was all those things, I wasn't sure. But what I did know was that in that moment I knew I loved her.  
And I promised myself then and there to tell her that if I ever get out of this place alive. I'd tell her all of those things and more and beg for her forgiveness. And even if she still hated me, even if she never forgave me, I'd still love her.

**A/N Ok so I know it's a week or so later than I said it'd be, but at least I managed to find time even with school xD  
Don't forget to review! :D**


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